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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25828150">Tired Of Running</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakasawa444/pseuds/Nakasawa444'>Nakasawa444</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, M/M, Smut, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:12:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25828150</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakasawa444/pseuds/Nakasawa444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark is new in the world of high fashion modeling. He's casted to walk a show for the famous young menswear designer Park Jinyoung. But said designer decided to tell Mark off before the show, in front of staff and all the other models at that. Mark is giving him a piece of his mind and leaves. This marks the end of his career in the fashion industry. He's not too sad, as it wasn't his dream anyway and just needed the money. </p>
<p>Years later Mark is able to fulfill his real dream and opens his own restaurant. But it doesn't take long until a certain fashion designer shows up for a meal.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Spring Blooms: MarkJin Fic Fest 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tired Of Running</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sanjaaa, I don't know you but I want to give my thanks to you for submitting this prompt. It inspired me a lot (how the number of words might already give away ^^). I also want to thank my lovely beta reader as well as the mods of this fic fest. Please enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This guy is talking for an eternity already. Mark takes a look around. Everyone else seems to be just as bored as he is. And they all endure it quietly, just like him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a long and stressful day already. The past few days of the Paris Fashion Week weren't boring either. And now Mark and approximately 30 other male models are all ready, fitted with their high-fashion clothes and in full makeup, waiting for the last show of the day to start. They discussed and walked the choreography at least 10 times already. There's nothing hard about it. It's just walking. They don't even have to suffer this ordeal of walking with 15 centimeter high heels on their feet, like their female colleagues are required to do. Everyone got it already. And frankly speaking, to listen to that guy's babbling is a waste of time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Additionally there wasn't any food provided by the fashion label. They are here for hours and they didn't even had access to water, aside from the metallic tasting tap water in the bathroom of course. And it starts to take a toll on Mark. The dizziness gets worse by the minute. The nausea causes a queasy, unsettled feeling in his stomach. What's up with this rich ass fashion company which can't even treat staff and models like humans?! Despite his worsening physical state, a storm starts raging in his mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It becomes more difficult to stay still and listen to the douche. Apparently it's the designer and owner of Peach'n'Pepi male fashion himself, Jinyoung Park. His parents are well-known, even outside of the fashion industry. His mother runs an international high-end fashion and luxury lifestyle magazine, while his father was a successful male model in his youth and now runs his own model agency. Their son seems to be a rich brat with a lot of potential to annoy his surroundings all day long. Also he seems to love the sound of his own voice. Just how long is he going to talk some bullshit in front of them?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Usually a show of this scale has a stage director who would instruct the models. But it seems like Mr. Pepi here wants to be involved in every detail of the show, even though he doesn't seem to have any idea how to conduct it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark tries to motivate himself by thinking about the money he would earn with this job. Every generated dollar means another step on the way to fulfill his big dream of opening his own restaurant. Gradually he will get there. It's his first season as a high-fashion model but many designers seem to dig his look and he was well booked so far.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey! Are you even listening?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark snaps out of his thoughts and quickly tries to assess the situation. It turns out he's currently the center of attention because this Pepi brat is scowling at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure,” he vaguely answers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah? Because you look pretty bored.” Just like everyone else here, Mark thinks. He doesn't comprehend why of all people he is the one who gets called out for it. “And I don't pay people to be bored at my show. This is a<em> job, </em>not your damn free time. It would be nice if you could put in some effort,” the guy keeps ranting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn't have a chance to put in effort yet, because nothing is happening here,” Mark retorts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The other models around him start to gasp. An awestruck murmur runs through the lines of onlookers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark, shut it,” Yugyeom, a model guy who Mark casually befriended over the past few shows, whispers urgently, but still takes a step away from him. The angry Pepi boy has now an unobstructed view of Mark because nobody else wants to be in the line of fire. And god forbid, nobody wants to make it seem like they solidarize with Mark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Excuse me, we're planning, discussing and practicing for the show. This is a big part of the job and it demands passion and concentration from everyone. But you choose to loaf around like some kind of annoyed suburb bad boy instead of doing your actual job. If you can't be professional, this is not the right place for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yo maestro!” Mark now barks back. “You think you got this all down? You think you're so professional? Don't you see that nobody wants to be here? Maybe if you'd start to feed your staff and treat them kindly, they'd actually be motivated and give even a single fuck about all of this. Also how about not making us drink this disgusting water from the tap like fucking animals, rich douche?!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone is gasping again. The other models keep backing away from him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“These accusations are ridiculous! I treat the staff like it's common in the fashion industry.” Mark snorts at that and it seems to fuel Pepi boy's anger even more. “And only when it's about complaints your zombie self comes back to life, huh? I wish I had seen this passion earlier, during practice.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm starving here! You can shove your request up you ass!” Pepi boy's mouth falls open for a second before he seems to seriously fall into a rage. But Mark doesn't even care anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm explaining my unparalleled creative vision here and you dare to bother me with trivialities such as food? Are you insane?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Human needs are trivial to you? That says a lot about your character, Mr. professional brat. Also short update: nobody here cares about your fucking creative vision. Everyone is here for the money and you just make it harder for all of us. Perhaps people would be happy to be here and actually care about your damn long monologue, if you would treat them well. Because treating people well actually makes them feel worth something and motivates them, but you rather want to treat them like trash on legs.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His mouth opens and closes without the slightest sound coming out. He's just gasping, obviously too shocked to speak actual words. Mark has no idea how this is going to end. By now he can be glad if this rich guy doesn't put the cops onto him. However, the next sentence that comes from the young designer is something Mark never would have expected.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know you aren't even tall enough to be a model, right?” the guy taunts and crosses his arms in front of his chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What the heck is wrong with this brat?! Just the night before Mark went to the audition for the show and this very designer cast him in less than 10 seconds. There were a lot of models at the audition. He could have chosen anyone. But he picked him, and today he points out that he's not tall enough? Mark makes up his mind and decides that he's crazy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was cast with this height. Surprise, I didn't magically shrink over night.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, you're a freaking dwarf!” the designer mocks, his mouth twisted into a haughty sneer. The other models around Mark start to snicker, obviously agreeing. This really hurts. Mark's pride is wounded and that results in more anger. “Even I am taller than you. It's ridiculous, I would be more suitable than you to be a model,” the guy continues to ridicule him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine! Then do this shit yourself! Because I don't want to work for a despot!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine! I don't want a lazy dwarf modeling my clothes! Youngjae, escort him out!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His assistant approaches swiftly and beckons Mark towards the backstage area. He hears the other models whispering. Mark can't make out the words but he knows he's the main topic of conversation now. This is so humiliating and infuriating at once. Angry tears prick his eyes as he stomps off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You need to change into your own clothes before you leave,” the assistant explains calmly as he accompanies Mark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Like I actually would want to steal his stuff. Please!” The assistant only shrugs his shoulders, seemingly unfazed by the whole fight. But Mark is still enraged. “Just what is wrong with this guy? He really thinks he does everything right while everyone else fucks up?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me tell you that your way of voicing criticism wasn't the most well-behaved one. Who would accept it when it's thrown at them in such a rude way?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So he would have considered my words when I would have been all nice and sweet?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's not what I'm saying,” the assistant quickly corrects. “I just say, normally it's better to aim criticism at people in a more politely-worded way.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Normally</em>!” Mark snorts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The assistant sighs and it seems like he considers to add more to the topic, and after a long moment he eventually does. “But Jinyoung Park is very rich and very successful and very young. That might not be the best combination.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So he's a brat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's not like it's his fault though.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And whose fault is it then?” Mark snaps at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“His parents'? His upbringing's? His surroundings'? Probably everything of the aforementioned? Listen, only very few people are brave enough to tell him things the way you just did. And if he never hears different opinions, he has no reason to start self-reflecting. So how should he actually learn and mature?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you are aware of these issues, why don't you say something to him?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because I don't want to be jobless like <em>you</em> are now.” Mark scowls at him. “I'm just honest here. I need this job and I can't risk to lose it just because I think he needs some educational measures. And I hope you know that he most likely won't let you find work in the fashion industry ever again. This is over for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Right, Mark thinks, that sounds like a logical consequence. Jinyoung Park knows everyone of importance in the business. He's a shooting star and is already regarded as one of the most influential designers around, while Mark is a mere rookie model. Nobody would even miss him after only one season of work. But of course he didn't think about that when he started a fight with this famous fashion designer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark heaves a deep sigh as he walks out into the Parisian night. It's not that he's actually sad about giving up on modeling. No, he disliked everything about it anyway. Everything, but the money.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took Mark almost four more years. Years of dubious jobs, countless deprivations and serious struggling. But now at the age of 24, Mark has his own restaurant in New York City.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This is what he always wanted, to be a chef in his own restaurant. All the dishes on the menu were created by himself, with all the love, care and passion he has for food and food preparation. The restaurant's interior furnishing looks like he imagined it when he was only a kid. It's smaller than he actually aimed for but if everything runs smoothly from now on, maybe some day he can open a second one. He's living his dream. Even though long working hours and financial problems are part of his daily routine, he's happy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also Mark encountered a stroke of luck. Due to his special dishes and the maritime style of the interior decoration, the restaurant went viral on social media within the first two months after opening. That was fortunate because if the revenue wouldn't have increased quickly after opening, he would have struggled to cover the costs of rent, supplies and wages in the following months. It was a risky business venture right from the start. But thanks to the quick social media fame, a big part of New York's hipster population suddenly couldn't live without dining at his restaurant anymore. Sure, if he would have a choice he would favor another clientele, but as long as they pay he's fine with hipsters for now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Mark?” his restaurant manager and friend, Jaebeom, asks when he peeks into the busy kitchen. “Can you come out to the front for a second? Some guests want to talk to you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark looks up from the steaks which he currently marinades. “Something wrong with the food?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, actually-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then I don't care.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaebeom rolls his eyes and Mark simply knows that he's about to nag the shit out of him. “Mark, please-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is this one of these hipster people again who wants to interview me for their stupid blog slash channel slash story thingies?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, those hipster people are your biggest fans, at least until they find someone fresher and more trippy. But for now they think you're the king of food.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And I think they are clowns. To each their own.” Mark shrugs it off and focuses his attention on the steaks again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But it's actually a bunch of celebs who want to express their praise to the chef.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can't they just leave a message?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark, we're talking about <em>celebrities</em>. You can't disregard celebrities. That's bad for the image of the restaurant and therefore bad for our jobs. So please, do it for our jobs.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Celebrities, Mark's second most hated group of guests after hipsters. Where are all the normal people? Why can't they come to eat at his restaurant? Should he put up a sign outside: 'Normal people 10% off'?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You coming?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I don't have a choice,” Mark mutters and reluctantly leaves the steaks. “You got this, right?” he asks both of his assistant cooks and receives nods and cheeky grins in return. They know how much he hates to leave the kitchen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, can you change into a clean chef's jacket? This looks like you tried to recreate some paisley on yourself with food stains.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's because I cook with passion, Jaebeom. <em>Passion</em>!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, or just messy like a grade schooler. And now hurry up, please.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still very reluctant, Mark makes himself look presentable and follows Jaebeom out into the jam-packet restaurant. The waiters hurry past them and some excited hipsters already whip out their cellphones to snap pics of him or whatever. He tries to not roll his eyes too noticeably at this madness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So,” Jaebeom announces, with this awkward fake smile on his lips which Mark hates so much, “here we have the two enchanting runway models, Thereza Sutherlane and Carolina Nichikowa, the award-winning directress Livia Milovanović and the famous fashion designer Jinyoung Park. Ladies and gentleman, this is the incredible wizard behind all of our food creations, Mark Tuan.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark doesn't even notice the other people, despite Jaebeom's lengthy introduction. He only sees how Jinyoung Park turns around in slow motion just to look up at him with a charming smile. He almost didn't change. Some of his features seem a little less boyish now, though he still appears to be pretty boyish overall. Apart from that it's still the same guy who ridiculed him in front of a bunch of staff members and male models.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The designer stares up at Mark, still smiling. And Mark stares down at him with huge eyes. He's completely thunderstruck. His brain forgot how to give commands to his body. It's too occupied with sending white noise through his head. What should he do now? Never did he expect to meet him here. Actually he hoped to never meet Jinyoung Park again at all. But this guy, sitting in his restaurant, eating his food and now wanting to tell him some bullshit about it, is nothing he could have made up on his own, not even in his nightmares.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, so good-looking,” one of the models says, too loud to pass for a whisper.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The designer's eyebrows scrunch together at that. Did he just recognize Mark? Did he notice only now that it's the lousy rookie model from four years ago who stands in front of him? Or did he know right from the start who the owner of this restaurant is? Anyhow, his smile doesn't falter. If anything it becomes even wider.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you for coming out and sparing some of your precious time,” the fashion designer eventually says. His voice is still the same, deep and rich and actually kind of pleasant if it's not nagging at Mark. But he won't let himself be fooled. It's the same arrogant brat in front of him and Mark feels still humiliated and angry. “I know it must be busy with so many guests present.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Mark breathes, and a weird twinkle comes into the other's eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So please excuse our boldness, but we couldn't let the chance slip away to tell you in person just how impressed we are with your skills. All our dishes were exquisite.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark is still pondering how to reply while he now tries to avoid the designer's unflinching gaze. But one of the females, Mark thinks it's the directress, beats him to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jinyoung says it like that,” she laughs, “but we could have lived happily with just enjoying your food and leaving. But he wouldn't stop nagging us about requesting your presence to express our admiration in person. Though I have to admit, now that you're here I'm very glad we listened to him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a suggestive smile on her face, her eyes are going up and down on Mark's body. That only adds to his confusion. What kind of sick game is this? Do they all know about their history and now called him to the table to make fun of him together? Or is this just their weird celebrity way of doing things? Do they know about the incident? Or has Jinyoung Park actually no idea who Mark is? This is such an unpleasant situation. He wants to flee the scene as quick as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uhm, Mark?” Jaebeom whispers, reminding him that he is expected to reply something.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're too kind,” he eventually forces himself to answer. “I'm glad you enjoyed the food. That's always my highest priority. Thank you for your compliments. Please get home safely.” As soon as he finished his statement full of fake politeness, Mark whirls around to leave.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait! It's nice to see you again after such a long time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And now it's the second episode of Mark's body being paralyzed with shock. The designer's statement echoes in his ears. Excited comments like “Oh my god, you know him?” and “You didn't mention that before.” are whispered by female voices behind him. Mark feels all eyes on him, including Jaebeom's. But he can't turn back around. He simply can't. Instead he squares his shoulders and answers, “I wish the feeling were mutual.” Then he walks back into the kitchen, his safe space which he shouldn't have left in the first place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Like every night, Mark inspects the kitchen meticulously, making sure that everything is spick and span after work. His assistant cooks went home already, just like most of the other staff members.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As the door behind him opens, Mark recognizes Jaebeom already by the sound of his steps.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You have a history with a famous fashion designer and never told me about it. This will change now.” Mark hears the challenging undertone in his voice. The mental image of Jaebeom, leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed in front of his chest while wearing a confident smile, immediately pops into his head. And when Mark turns around to face his friend, he spots him being the exact copy of this mental image.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I don't want to,” Mark tries to casually avoid the conversation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Neither of us will go home before you spilled the beans, and you know it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course this wouldn't work with Jaebeom. Mark needs to toughen up on him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please don't make me,” he whines.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, I think it's cute when you beg but you also know that I still don't care. Tell me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark doesn't feel inspired enough to have a lengthy argument about this, which he knows Jaebeom will win anyway. So he gives up and roughly explains what happened back then in Paris.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And now he walks in here and acts like you're old friends?! This guy surely doesn't look like it, but he has guts,” Jaebeom ponders aloud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just don't know what he wants from me. I certainly don't want anything from him. The world is huge so why can't he be at least decent enough to avoid me? This weird guy!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow, this whole thing still really bothers you, right? You didn't move on.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Why does Jaebeom always have to be smart in the wrong moments?! “So what if it is? To be called out by some famous brat in front of a whole audience while simultaneously losing an entire career path, isn't that easy to deal with when you're young.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He gave you a whole trauma.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's a bit too dramatic. It's not a trauma. I just don't want him in my life, especially not this part of my life where I'm achieving my dream. I can't let him ruin yet another thing for me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then let's hope he's satisfied with his little cameo earlier and won't show up anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The door to the kitchen swings open another time and a cheerful head waiter, also known as their friend Jackson, walks in. “It was once again an honor to spend another day with you, gentlemen. We did brilliantly. I think we deserve a round of applause.” Jackson is the only one who starts clapping, unfazed by the fact that nobody joins in. Instead he claps some more before he walks past Jaebeom and casually slaps his ass.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Will we ever end a day without you touching my butt?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wouldn't bet on it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks for the information.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I see, you're really hating it,” Jackson mocks him, smugly smiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can't do anything about your disturbing habit, so whatever.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I can't do anything about my disturbing habit of wanting to touch your sexy body either. We're in the same boat, my friend.” Mark and Jaebeom roll their eyes in sync. “I tell you, the three of us, being young, handsome, hot as hell, the world is waiting for us. The three of us could-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh no,” Mark interrupts him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not that again,” Jaebeom supports.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jackson, please!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What? I just say that it's rare that three sexy guys like us are thrown together by fate. We should do something beneficial with it. We should-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No underwear modeling,” Jaebeom warns.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And no topless-Friday at work,” Mark adds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And no fantastic-triplets-strip-show. Listen to us, nobody would even believe that we're related.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And definitely no filming a threesome gay porn.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're both always so grumpy on Mondays, you know that?” Jackson mildly criticizes. “No fun at all. I'll propose my ingenious ideas to you again on topless-Friday and hope for a better response.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There is <em>no</em> topless-Friday,” both nag in unison.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let's discuss this on underwear-less-Thursday.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I swear I'm going crazy with him. Jaebeom, please take him away,” Mark begs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, it's time to go home anyway.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You underestimate the power of JJM!” Mark hears Jackson babbling as Jaebeom shuffles him out of the kitchen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stop saying JJM as if it's a thing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It could be, if J and M wouldn't be such non-believers.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah yeah,” Mark hears Jaebeom mutter before the door shuts behind them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The quietness moved back into the kitchen. Immediately Mark's mind wanders back to the incident earlier. It's not like Jinyoung Park really gave him a trauma. It just surprised Mark that he showed up all of the sudden in his new life which has nothing to do with the fashion industry. Anyway, this guy doesn't even deserve all the time Mark spends on pondering over him, so he decides to think about some new dishes instead, while he finalizes his kitchen inspection.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To his great surprise Jaebeom enters the kitchen once again 10 minutes later, looking rather uneasy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn't go home yet?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well... uhm... just so you know, Jackson just met a certain young fashion designer when he left through the back door and... well.... apparently that young fashion designer is waiting for <em>you</em>. Jackson just called to tell me,” Jaebeom stammers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You have to be kidding me. HE'S <em>OUTSIDEOUTSIDE</em>?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Waiting for <em>ME</em>?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yup.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No... no that can't be.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Should I call the cops?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jaebeom, he's <em>famous</em>. The cops would probably ask him for his autograph and take <em>you</em> to the police station instead.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sounds likely.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I will face him. He can't do anything to me. I don't care,” Mark tries to motivate himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's the spirit. Maybe he just wants to apologize. Who knows?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Or maybe he wants to ruin my new career as well.” The attempt at motivation lasted only a second.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you don't care, right? You will face him, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who am I kidding?! I obviously care, but yes I will face him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good, then-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, why did Jackson even call you because of him?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I might have filled him in on your story when I sent him home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was a safety measure. It's important to share the same degree of knowledge to work as a good team.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure, gossip girl.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't glare at me. It was for the team. JJM, YAY!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know what? I rather go out and face this brat before I keep listening to you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, Mark! Show him who's the bigger man!” Jaebeom encourages as Mark leaves the kitchen. Though he isn't sure about this bigger-man-stuff. Probably he will just show him who can run faster because Mark doesn't plan to have a nice chat with this guy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So when Mark pushes open the back door, a scowl on his face, it doesn't even take him a second to spot him in the small alley. He stands there, wearing his stupid designer coat and stupid designer shoes and stupid designer smile, and all of it makes Mark angry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah finally. I was afraid you'd spend the night in there,” the guy says, smiling so wide that weird crinkles appear around his eyes. In a heartbeat, Mark decides to completely ignore him. Without a word, he pulls his baseball jacket more tightly around himself and heads towards the main street. “Hey Mark!” The guy truly has the nerve to run after him. As soon as he catches up, he keeps up with Mark's long strides. “Earlier, that was a bit weird, so I like to clear things up. I wasn't sure if you would remember me so I kept it casual, but when you turned to leave I couldn't let you go without-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Reminding me that you're the mean bastard designer from four years ago?” Mark barks with his gaze still straight ahead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uhm.... I wouldn't phrase it that way, but I guess there's some truth to it. So you did remember me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, happy?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I would be happier if we could stop running for a second and-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What the fuck do you even want from me?” Mark knows he's losing his temper slowly. This guy is just too irritating.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want to congratulate you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?” And this is the first time Mark actually slows down a bit to look quizzically at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wanted to congratulate you to your successful restaurant. When I read about it online, I almost couldn't believe it. It's truly impress-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't want that from you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh... uhm... okay, though I still congratulate you. It's really something to be proud of and-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can bet I'm proud of this. And now leave me alone!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How do you get home?” the designer asks, seemingly unbothered by Mark's cold attitude and harsh words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“None of your business.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can drive you. My car is parked just around the corner.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Over my dead body.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uhm, I take that as a no. So do you live within walking distance or are you taking the subway?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why do you care?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's late and it's New York so it can be dangerous to be out alone.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Keep your fake worry to yourself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's not fake though. Well, I accompany you for a while.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So we can talk for a bit?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can talk to yourself. I'm not interested,” Mark grumbles and ups his pace. But of course the other keeps jogging along with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I meant it, what I said earlier. Your cooking skills are fantastic. And the dishes are truly uncommon but they taste new and fresh. And despite everything, I still got a homey feel from them. It might sound weird but that's how I felt. Anyway, no surprise your restaurant is the talk of the town. I'm glad we could manage to grab a table tonight. Really lucky!” Mark can't believe that this irritating guy would really follow his sarcastic advice and talk to himself. He rolls his eyes in annoyance but the other can't see it. And even though this situation causes him great uneasiness, he can't deny that he likes his cooking skills to be praised. After all that's the one thing he's proud of. “So you named the restaurant 'Naut-ics', huh? There's your last name in it. That's very clever.” Mark stops dead in his tracks to face him. “Wow, that was a compliment. Why are you glaring at me again?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a moment Mark tries to sort out his thoughts while his eyes attempt to burn holes into the rather surprised designer. “I'm mad that you were smart enough to figure this out,” Mark murmurs before he starts speedwalking again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh... ha ha... sorry? Wait, does that mean other people didn't figure it out?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not many, no.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whoa, I feel special now, like I've won some award,” the other cheers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Douche award maybe.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“An award is an award,” he jokes and simply shrugs Mark's insult off. Just what the heck does this guy want from him? He's just talking without actually saying what he's here for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay stop! I'm entering the subway station now and if you follow me, I'll report you for stalking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah, so you take the subway, I see. Where do you get off?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm going now. Don't follow me!” Mark reminds again before he turns away from him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At least it seems like this time he's listening and doesn't follow. A slightly less cheerful sounding “Goodnight, Mark!” is called after him. Mark doesn't turn around and he doesn't reply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So? How was it going?” Jaebeom asks when they meet in the restaurant the next day, before opening hours.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mainly weird. This guy is insufferable.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did he talk about your first meeting?” Jackson asks, coming up from behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then what did he want from you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have not the slightest idea. He just followed me all the way to the station, non-stop chattering about how great the restaurant is. I didn't even say anything much. It was hardly a conversation.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh, weird,” Jaebeom murmurs. “Maybe that was his famous-designer-special-way of apologizing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I really don't care. I hope he can utilize this famous-designer-energy for leaving me alone now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark said he doesn't care, but honestly he cares a lot. He cared enough to lie awake for hours last night and ponder over this confusing day. And he also cared enough to think about it as soon as he woke up in the morning. He is glad that he can go back to the kitchen now. When he cooks, his mind is occupied with pleasant things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Several hours later, another day was successfully finished. Jackson already gave his little motivational speech and slapped Jaebeom's ass for good measure. They are just about to leave the clean kitchen when one of his assistant cooks comes back in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey guys, do you know this famous designer, Jinyoung Park? He loiters outside the back door. Can you believe it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The three of them exchange knowing looks. Then Jackson speaks up with determination in his voice. “Okay Mark, you won't go out there alone. This is a matter for JJM!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And hell, Mark has no idea what this means and he also doesn't know what good 'JJM' is supposed to do, but yes, they walk out of the back door together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The designer stands there again, smiling. He wears another expensive looking set of clothes. His dark, side-parted hair is styled up with gel. Even though Mark came upon him here the day before already, now it really hits him how out of place this fancy guy looks in the small alley, next to the restaurant's dumpsters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Without hesitation, Jaebeom hugs Mark from behind, wrapping himself around him like a possessive cat. He puts his chin on Mark's shoulder and offers the designer a smug smile. And like a protective dog, Jackson plants himself in front of them, glaring at the fashion designer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you want from him all of the time?” Jackson barks, his usual cheerfulness gone with the wind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The surprise is obviously and immediately visible on the other's face. His hands come up in a defensive manner. “Just talking. I don't have anything shady in mind, I swear.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We sure know you weren't all that nice to him in the past,” Jaebeom purrs while he rubs his cheek against Mark's ear, for whatever reason. “How can we believe in a genuine change of heart?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whatever happened in the past belongs in the past. It's unchangeable. But I can try to make up for the past now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Both guys exchange a suspicious look, while Mark is basically still trying to process the entire incredibility of the current situation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's up to you, Mark,” Jackson informs. “But I think he's acting suspiciously.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm not!” the young designer whimpers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And he's whiny. What a combination. He pouts like a brat,” Jaebeom laughs. “But at least he doesn't seem like a serious threat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess. So what are you gonna do, Mark?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm going home of course. What else am I supposed to do?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Should we come along-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, it's fine. I don't need a convoy. Thank you. Both of you. Have a great night.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Call us if something happens,” Jackson says before he shoots the designer another look of suspicion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won't do anything to him, dammit!” he complains right away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We weren't talking to you, Mr. fashion designer. And better behave or JJM will come at you,” Jackson lets him know before he turns around to hug Mark. Jaebeom is still embracing him from behind what makes them look like some weird human sandwich.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay guys, goodnight.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Goodnight, Mark.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Goodnight, and don't forget to shoot us a message when you're home,” Jackson reminds him like a worried father. Mark nods and his friends go back inside to finish up. Mark still doesn't know why they came outside with him. Jinyoung Park now knows that he has protective and weird friends. Aside from that, no point was made.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wordlessly Mark turns towards the main street and starts to walk, not any slower than yesterday. But it only takes a moment until he hears the quick steps behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The fact that I'm going home now is not a permission to follow me,” Mark mutters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But as I said, I want to talk to you some more,” he retorts. From the corner of his eye Mark sees the warm smile bloom on his face, but quickly pretends he didn't see anything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And I was saying yesterday already, you can talk to yourself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whoa, I was surprised just now, to be honest.” Mark can't believe he made the same mistake twice. Of course Jinyoung Park just starts talking upon this sarcastic invitation. “I expected you, but you came out together with a whole group. I was shocked. Your protection party is really something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Frankly speaking, Jaebeom and Jackson are as intimidating as 5-year-olds. But we look out for each other. It's essential in a city like New York. You need people who you can rely on.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm glad you found those people here and aren't all by yourself. I was worried.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why would <em>you, of all people,</em> be worried?” Mark snorts. “No, wait, why am I even talking to you?! I don't want to talk to you,” Mark scolds himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're so cute.” His laugh annoys Mark. He starts to walk even faster but the other keeps up with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, my car is right over there. I could drive you so we wouldn't have to jog through the night.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I'm fine. Just leave me alone,” Mark grumbles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well.... I'm sorry but I probably won't.” His soft voice contrasts strongly with the meaning of this statement. Mark slows down to stare at him in astonishment. These are pretty upfront words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why now? Why do you start to follow me around <em>now </em>of all times?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's a good question. It's because I only found you now, after I read about your restaurant. I didn't know where you went after.... our dispute. I asked around later, but nobody knew anything about you, except that you didn't audition for any model jobs anymore. It felt like you vanished into thin air.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You asked around about me?” Mark questions. The sudden confession sparks a certain curiosity in him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's because.... well.... personal reasons.” The designer seems to be unusually flustered and secretive all of the sudden. That doesn't satisfy Mark's strong desire for answers at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's no proper answer. Tell me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmm... I will tell you in exchange for something.” The return of a tiny smirk on his face tells Mark that he won't like what's coming next.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you want? Money?” he snorts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good one. No, I want a little bit of your time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want to spend more time with you. And I mean not like this here, not running to the station together. Give me more time with you and I will answer all of your questions in exchange.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That sounds fishy, like a deal with the devil.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm not <em>that </em>bad, please,” he whines again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Opinions differ.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh... Mark...” he sighs. “Well anyway, do we have a deal?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmm.... no. I'm not <em>that</em> curious.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark, come on.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Listen, Pepi boy, leave me alone. Get a hobby or a pet or anything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Pepi boy?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Would you like Peach boy more?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Never mind,” he blurts out and actually smiles at Mark. The latter can't believe it. He literally tells him to piss off and this weirdo starts to smile. “Are you happy with your job now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm sure you are, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I mean, you love cooking, I can literally feel it. Right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You won't answer me? Really? No answer to that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are very annoying, just for your information,” Mark eventually gives in. “I'm very happy. I think I'd do it for love if it were not for the money.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That truly sounds like happiness.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And here is the station. Don't follow me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, goodnight Mark. It was lovely talking to you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark doesn't reply as he walks away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day, when Mark tells Jaebeom and Jackson what happened, they only blink at him for a while. Jackson points out that Mark talked much more to Jinyoung Park than everyone expected. Yes, it was more than Mark himself expected. But they are just as curious as he is about the reason why this guy searched for Mark. Of course nobody of them has an answer to it, but they all share the vague hunch that this hasn't been the last time a certain fashion designer would keep their dumpsters outside company.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good evening,” the designer says with a bright smile as soon as Mark pushes open the back door that night. Always expensively dressed, always smiling, and always waiting for Mark. What is up with this guy?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And here we go again,” Mark sighs, loud enough for the other to hear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My car is just over-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can drive-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Noooohoooo!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine with me, let's walk together again. I mean, let's run together again,” he quips as he steps it up a notch to keep up with Mark. “How was your day?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You look really handsome today. I mean you looked handsome the other days as well, but... just wow, how can somebody look so handsome every day? It's never ending handsomeness. How are you living with it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Goddammit! Stop it! Are you flirting or are you just awkward or creepy, I can't even tell, but every option would be bad,” Mark whines.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You could just talk to me. Maybe then I wouldn't be so... everything you just mentioned. How about it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Or you could just go back home and leave me alone for the rest of my life.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“NO!” Mark immediately slows down to turn his head and look at him with wide eyes. He's already gotten so used to Jinyoung's lighthearted and soft tone that a vehement objection like this, downright startles him. The designer obviously noticed and now seems rather embarrassed. “Sorry,” he mumbles, “I didn't mean for it to come out like this. It's just... I want to spend time with you and you want everything <em>but </em>spending time with me, and I try to not let it affect me but I'm reaching my limit.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The honesty surprises Mark. He simply knows that his words are sincere. Nobody can be that good of an actor. But he doesn't owe him anything, especially not sympathy. “Good, it seems like you understood that I don't want to spend time with you. The question is, why do you still follow me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please give me a chance, Mark. I don't want anything more. Just a chance, just you not blocking everything from the start.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why would I give you anything?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know you don't have any obligation towards me. But I'm not the same person anymore you met four years ago. I changed and I want to have a chance to show you.” His words are demanding but his voice sounds like pleading. Maybe Mark has a tiny bit of sympathy after seeing his scrunched eyebrows, his overall very hurt expression and his glistening eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tell me what about you did change.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I admit, I was too eager, too limitless back then. I should have taken more care of the people I worked with. I took them for granted and that was such a huge mistake. I was too young and the success came too abruptly for me to comprehend. The pressure in the industry is just immense. I was too overwhelmed. I handled situations the wrong way and treated people bad. But I learned. I don't make the same mistakes anymore. Our argument back then started me thinking. It all began with you. You were.... special in so many ways.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you mean? We barely knew each other.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's true, but you were so unique even back then. There was no way you wouldn't leave an impression. You stood out so much, your looks, your whole aura, the way you carried yourself, you were the most beautiful being I ever saw.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Expectant eyes are searching Mark's face for a reaction. And Mark thinks he is reacting strongly because his face suddenly feels hot. The intensity of the other's gaze and words are doing something to him and Mark doesn't really like it. “You had a strange way of showing that,” he mumbles eventually.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I know, <em>now</em>. It was weird, I kind of wanted to challenge you. I won't lie, I was hurt when you stood there all bored and lifeless during practice. Initially I called you out because I wanted to bring out all of your fierceness so you would pull off the show even more brilliantly. But instead we started fighting and you left. So I guess my approach wasn't that great,” he murmurs and awkwardly rubs his neck. Even when Mark only glances at his side profile, he sees how embarrassed the other is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's funny somehow, Mark never thought about the designer's motives, why he said what he said back then. He only ever thought about the way he humiliated him in front of a bunch of people. Without thinking, he assumed that this is how a rich brat acts, always. That this rich brat might have deeper motivations behind such a behavior never occurred to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You did too much,” Mark mumbles. He examines the sidewalk rather than the guy next to him, even though they walk much slower now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Probably...... maybe, but you clearly weren't made for the industry. Models have to be able to take a lot more shit than that. Most people in fashion are harsh and unfortunately models mostly exist at the bottom of the food chain. So in the end I'm glad I scared you away with this little thing, instead of you being broken completely by other people in the fashion industry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>This little thing</em>?” Mark repeats, baffled. “I won't say thank you for it,” he grumbles. “My self-esteem took a massive blow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't expect a thank you or anything alike. Don't get me wrong, I know it was a jackass move to call you out like that and even make fun of you. I really didn't think that the situation would escalate into such a mess.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because you weren't used to people talking back.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's true. But I explained to you why I did it and I also told you that I now know that it was stupid. So please, let me say sorry to you. I know what I did was wrong and I won't repeat it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmm... okay, I guess.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Does that mean you accept my apology?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark feels his gaze on him. He turns his head to spot those big, twinkling eyes, so full of hope and expectations.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I do,” Mark says with some uncertainty, still. But the other seems to relax immediately as relief washes over his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm so glad. I never meant for it to become this way, you know? After I saw you walking for the first time at the show, I had quite some other plans than getting into an argument with you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Which show?” Mark questions. They arrived at the subway station by now but Mark doesn't want to leave so soon. The curiosity keeps him glued to the spot. In the neon light of the station he can see Jinyoung's face a lot better. It's so interesting to watch the shade of rose spreading across his cheeks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I..uhm... I saw you for the first time when you walked the runway at the Burberry show, two days before mine. Everyone knows Burberry hasn't the most exciting collections, since they are always very classy. But when you walked on that runway, everything changed. You had so much energy, so much drive! The air around you was full of crackling electricity. You brought it to life. Every outfit you wore was like an adventure. I was so fascinated by you and... that never happened to me before. I asked around to get to know your name and then I hoped you would show up at the casting for my show. I even thought about sending you an invitation in case you wouldn't come, but that would probably have weirded you out,” he laughs. “But all worry was in vain. When you set foot into the audition room, a weight has been lifted off my chest. I couldn't have been happier.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, was that the reason why I barely needed to introduce myself and walk for you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Exactly, I already knew I wanted you. I knew what you were capable of doing on the runway.” The smile on his face is wide and close-lipped and very fond. Mark still tries to process all these new information. He never would have guessed that the other took a liking to him even before they officially met. If he's honest, until this moment he was sure the designer didn't like him at all back then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn't seem very excited at the casting though.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I tried to keep it at bay but I was so much looking forward to have you in my show. Like a giddy kid waiting for Christmas, I couldn't wait to watch you unleashing your charisma on my runway. So I was even more disappointed when you just stood there during practice and there was no drive, no electricity, no charisma at all. You just looked bored, as if you wished to be anywhere but at my show. And the young and bratty me took it very personal and... yeah... everything happened the way it happened.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I had no idea about... basically anything,” Mark gasps.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course not. The biggest part of this story happened in my head, before I even had a chance to talk with you properly,” he bashfully giggles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have to say something in my defense though. In the practice session, after we did it again and again and there was no food or water, I felt so dizzy that I barely could focus on anything. I wasn't feeling well at all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh.... “ The guilty conscience is plastered all over his face. “Then I'm belatedly sorry for this as well. I took your points of criticism to heart and worked on them later on.... <em>after</em> I overcame my ego. I had no idea you were feeling so bad. No surprise you weren't your radiant self that day.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark slowly nods his head. “I really hated your ass with a passion for the past couple years.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can't blame you,” Jinyoung laughs. “I didn't expect anything else. Passion is your thing after all. I only had the chance to see you three times in Paris, but this bit I learned about you. You had this wild and fierce beauty reflecting from the inside out. You on the runway, that was magic. God, the fashion world could have been yours,” he sighs wistfully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmm, I don't really need the fashion world. It didn't make me happy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No? Then why did you start modeling at all?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Only for the money,” Mark says, shrugging his shoulders with his hands buried deep in his jacket pockets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought you would be more idealistic than that,” the other teases.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm so sorry to disappoint your expectations of me, maestro, but young people often don't have the luxury of being idealistic. Of course someone like you can't relate.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Someone like <em>me</em>?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Someone with so much money in the background. It was easy for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's not fair.” Jinyoung is looking genuinely hurt. Mark thought he would only point out the obvious, but it seems there's a lot more to it. “I also worked hard. It's not easy to build a reputation in fashion; to even receive attention. And I achieved that because I'm good in what I'm doing and I worked hard to make my dreams come true.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But your parents' reputation-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Helped me a lot of course. I am aware. But it's also like a toxic shadow which I can't seem to shake off. Anyway, let's not talk about it, please.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okaaaay?” Mark awkwardly answers after witnessing Jinyoung's confusing attempt at defending himself. Inside of him there is obviously a lot more going on, but if he doesn't want to go deeper into it, Mark is fully okay with that. “But it doesn't change the fact that it was easier for you than it would have been for somebody without money. Your parents' money was always something you could rely on, no matter what kind of career path you would have chosen. If something doesn't work out for you, it wouldn't mean that your life is ruined, that you have to start from zero or even with debts. You never had to worry about these things.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine, that's true. I guess my worries are very different from the ones of the general public.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, like lobster-or-steak kind of worries,” Mark mocks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's not what I mean.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Never mind,” he sighs dejectedly. “You wouldn't acknowledge it anyway because you already labeled me as a brat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Try me, rich Pepi.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, it's exactly people like you who always see only the money in the background instead of my own dreams and ambitions. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, no matter how great my results are, it's never mentioned without mentioning my parents along with it. They don't have anything to do with my work as a designer, but for the public it doesn't matter. My achievements can't ever be only mine. They'll never belong to only me. And after years, I still try to figure out how to deal with this fact.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uhm... I thought we don't want to talk about your parents?” Mark asks meekly, belatedly realizing that he stirred up a hornet's nest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That obviously didn't work very well. Sorry for the emotional outburst. It's a sensitive issue for me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I see that,” Mark mumbles. He's not sure what to say to all those private information Jinyoung just revealed about himself. He also doesn't know if the designer expects him to say anything at all. After all they still barely know each other, but he decides to go with something vague. “Guess we all have our crosses to bear.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, that's for sure. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to discuss with you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You wanted to discuss something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, or rather I wanted to ask you something. Do you want to go out with me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whatwhat?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Go out with me? Please?” The designer already looks a bit contrite as Mark stares at him, being absolutely dumbfounded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, holdhold on! First of all, how did you even find out about me being gay? No wait, first of all, what the fuck?! And second, how did you even find out about me being gay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I told you, I asked around about you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You found out about my sexual orientation but couldn't find my location?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“People will always remember the juicy details rather than the relevant facts. A tragedy in itself, but it's true. Somebody told me you had a liaison with this simpering model guy you hung out with sometimes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yugyeom Kim?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, that was his name.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't know who told you this but these are mere rumors. We were just friendly acquaintances.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh.... damn. Because of that I never gave him another shot in one of my shows.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark groans. “Are you for real?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm sure he lives well despite me ignoring his existence. But if it was just a rumor, then you being gay...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is the truth.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank heavens,” Jinyoung blurts out and sends a peace sign up to the dark sky.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“To be <em>that</em> relieved...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course I am. Imagine searching for you all these years just to find out you're playing for the het team. No way!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What if I have a boyfriend?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That can be taken care of.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What the fuck, Jinyoung?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That was the first time you said my name. It sounds good, coming from you,” the other marvels while Mark is still freaking out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can we go back to the fact that right now I think you were implying contract killing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Calm down, okay?” he laughs. “I'm not in the mafia. There are other ways to handle these things, for instance wooing you up to the point where you can't live without me anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh-huh.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There has to happen a lot of wooing, I see.” Jinyoung flashes him an extra sad expression for good measure, but Mark only rolls his eyes. “So is there actually a boyfriend I need to hire a killer fo- uhm, need to take care of, I mean?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Very funny,” Mark murmurs. He tries to suppress his smile. Maybe it really was funny but he doesn't want Jinyoung to know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You deserve a funny boyfriend, and here I am.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hold up, okay? No, there is no boyfriend right now. I don't even have time for a boyfriend. I need to work, basically always.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So will you go out with me?” Jinyoung asks, new hope manifesting in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I really don't think so. Look, the conversation was nice. I'm glad that we cleared up the situation for good. Let's leave it at that and move on.” Mark never saw hope crushing this fast. He is sorry for Jinyoung, but he simply doesn't think dating him is a good idea. “I think I missed about four trains already. I'm gonna go now. Goodnight, Jinyoung.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The latter doesn't say anything. He just looks at Mark with big, pleading eyes and the corners of his mouth drooping, devoid of all happiness. It stings a bit, but in the end he is not responsible for Jinyoung's feelings. He has to take care of his own feelings first, Mark decides as he walks away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sleeping properly would have been nice. Spending not a good part of the night and the whole morning mulling over the conversation with the fashion designer would have been welcomed as well. But that's a luxury Mark didn't experience.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's such a strange feeling to have those bad memories of a certain incident screaming in the back of your head for years, and suddenly you look into the eyes of the one who caused them and realize that it isn't scary at all anymore. And to even top it off, this causer is suddenly asking you out. No, this is just crazy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can't believe he asked you out,” Jackson murmurs, seemingly as overwhelmed with this information as Mark was last night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, freaky, huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And are you considering?” Jaebeom beholds him with his sharp eyes and his feline smile. Mark knows it's time to choose his words carefully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why would I go out with him?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because he's good-looking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because he's rich as fuck,” Jackson supports.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because he has a really nice ass.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because you could borrow all his expensive designer clothes and walk around like a snob.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because his lips look very soft.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because you could ask his mom to publish an article about 'Naut-ics' in her magazine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because it sounds like he's serious about you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because we could be JJJM.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No Jackson, we were doing so good and you just... ugh,” Jaebeom whines. All his feline grace evaporated in seconds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh? This is a great point. JJJM could be <em>the</em> new thing. We could be like those 'Sex and the City' ladies but as guys and gay and well... yeah... super good-looking. Oh and employed of course.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What... I think they had jobs, Jackson,” Mark points out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As sex workers?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you actually watch a single episode of 'Sex and the City'?” Jaebeom questions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not really, but I think I got the gist of it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaebeom and Mark exchange a look with knitted eyebrows before the restaurant manager shakes his head vehemently. “Whatever! Let's get back to the main topic. Mark, perhaps you should consider going out with him because for one thing, he seems to be into you big time and for another thing, while recounting last night's meeting you randomly mentioned his nice smile six times.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn't?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But it's just a fact, you know?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nah,” Jaebeom denies.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nah nah nah,” Jackson chimes in and shoots him a doubting look. “Facts are facts but that was a subjective observation you made.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What? He <em>has</em> a nice smile. Don't you think his smile is nice?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't know. Seems like he saves up all his nice smiles to spend them on you,” the head waiter cackles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay stop! This is stopping now. The big stop, everyone. Stopstop!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We know you're really at a loss when you repeat words like this, Mark,” Jaebeom coolly points out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't care. Go to work! Both of you. We need to work. Earn money... and workwork.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He's whipped.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So whipped, it's almost embarrassing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark isn't going to listen to this nonsense any longer. He just struts into the kitchen with bright read ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Slowly he opens the back door, not knowing what to expect after being so upfront last night. Basically Mark does not even know what he himself hopes to see on the other side of this door. Does he wish for him to be there, or to be gone from his life forever?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good evening. You look great tonight as well. No surprise there.” And there Jinyoung Park is again, smiling his cute smile and looking absolutely splendid in yet another designer coat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you doing here?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wooing you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh boy,” Mark mumbles flabbergasted. That is until the fashion designer jumps behind one of the dumpsters and reveals a bouquet of colorful gladiolus. “Oh boyboy,” Mark whispers as Jinyoung more or less shoves the flowers into his stiff hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Boyboy? Never heard of this expression but it might be too much of a slang word for me to know,” Jinyoung laughs. No, it isn't. Mark's dum-dum head just made it up because the main part of his brain is busy freaking out. “So it probably starts to rain soon. The weather was unpredictable the entire day already. Would you please let me drive you home?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark glances down at the bouquet in his hands, then he lifts his head to spot Jinyoung's hopeful eyes, then he's looking up to the dark, angry sky, and back down at his flowers, and once again into Jinyoung's eyes. “I think that would be reasonable.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes! Very reasonable! Great decision,” the other cheers and beckons Mark to follow him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This time Jinyoung found a parking spot right across the main street. What else should he have expected than a huge Mercedes Benz in a sleek metallic black? The car automatically unlocks the doors as Jinyoung walks closer. But before Mark can reach for the passenger door, the fashion designer runs past him to be able to open the door for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I could have done this myself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course you could have, but I wanted to do it for you. Also I thought it might be difficult to handle with the flowers and all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't treat me like some dainty princess or I'm going to kick off the side mirror of your huge ass pimp mobile!” Mark offers his scariest scowl, but Jinyoung only blinks at him in surprise for a few moments before he starts to laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Message received. Sorry. Want to keep the flowers or should I run them over with my huge ass pimp mobile?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No it's fine, the flowers are not to blame,” Mark mutters as he slips into the car. Of course inside everything looks shiny and high-class and magnificent, just like he expected. Mark never sat in a car like this, but he tries to tone down his amazement before the other gets into the driver's seat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Could you type your address into the GPS?” Jinyoung asks as soon as he started the car. Wordlessly Mark taps the small screen in front of them until his mission is completed. He hates himself a tiny bit for feeling so comfortable, riding in this expensive car. He never craved for much luxury in his life, nor was he ever envious of rich people. But he has to admit that this fancy car makes him feel different than the stinky, dirty subway which he usually takes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first thick raindrops hit the windshield now. Mark is a bit grateful for Jinyoung's offer, since coming home soaking wet and chilled to the bones isn't that desirable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're a lot more docile today,” Jinyoung quips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm usually docile if nobody pisses me off.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh... I think so far I've seen your lively temper pretty often.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Think about why that is.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You won't let me live, I see,” Jinyoung laughs. Laughing is most of the time his reaction when Mark treats him coldly, he notices. To him it doesn't make sense and he's sure that most people would have stopped trying already, while Jinyoung still seems unfazed. “It's probably for the best that you changed your career. It's usually not going well to have a temper in the fashion industry, at least not as a model.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It worked well for Naomi Campbell though,” Mark casually states, examining the profile of Jinyoung's face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow!” the designer snickers. “No offense, <em>rookie</em>, but you really want to compare yourself with Naomi Campbell?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, because I'm scared of her and I know she'll find me and punish me.” Mark offers a cheeky grin which Jinyoung catches with a quick side glance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She sure would do that. Watch your back.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Would she attack me with a high heel?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, if you're lucky she <em>only</em> would attack you with a high heel instead of her bare hands.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm scared now,” Mark laughs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You should be. Iron-fingers-Campbell, how she's called by insiders, would snap your lousy neck like a cheese stick.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark keeps laughing and Jinyoung now chimes in. “It's fun talking trash with you.” Oops, that slipped out by accident, Mark quickly realizes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is it now?” Jinyoung glances at him again, wearing a lopsided grin on his handsome face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, and it's also good for the soul. Because this way I can act like my ruined modeling career is your fault, and not mine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, suddenly you liked being a model?” Jinyoung questions with feigned astonishment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn't say that. I just like to blame others more than I like to blame myself,” he jokes and flashes Jinyoung a cheeky grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh wow, cute. I mean the smile, not the mindset. The mindset is horrible. But the smile, damn, top quality,” the other plays along and Mark starts to giggle again. “Oh no, we are already there. And oh no, I just announced that, while I could have pretended to not notice and drive around the block a few more times. I'm an idiot.” Jinyoung lets his head drop onto the steering wheel in a dramatic manner.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is <em>my </em>neighborhood. You can assume that <em>I</em> indeed would have noticed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My bad!” Jinyoung parks the car right in front of Mark's apartment building. He turns towards him, a cute, close-lipped smile gracing his face which brings a pretty dimple into his cheek. Mark didn't notice before that he has a dimple, but now that he's aware of it he never wants to unsee it. “You know... I actually appreciate your temper. It's part of the reason I'm so intrigued by you.” His voice is soft against the pouring rain outside. His eyes are even softer. Mark feels a tiny blush creeping up his neck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sometimes you talk about me as if I would be some kind of mythical creature.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Or a god,” Jinyoung overbids him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You just made it worse,” Mark groans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know, that was my intention.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah yeah, keep snickering. I just want you to know that I'm just a boringly normal, flawed human being and if you refuse to acknowledge that, you're bound to end up disappointed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What if I think all your so called flaws are absolutely adorable?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then you're an idiot with extremely low standards.” At that Jinyoung lets out a guffaw. “I mean it. So you better start seeing the truth.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, I'll work on acknowledging it. I promise. In the meantime, can I accompany you upstairs?” There is a mischievous glint in his pretty eyes which makes it difficult to breathe for a moment. The question took Mark by surprise but he regains his composure quickly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No way, Pepi boy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uuuuuugh!” The designer expresses his disappointment with the most devastated face Mark had ever seen on him. It looks like he bit into a lemon and that makes Mark laugh heartily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“See? You're already disappointed in me. Life strikes so fast.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nah, it's fine. Challenging situations often create opportunities to grow, learn and excel. And I'm ready to do all of that for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This.... ugh... is.... I mean... do whateverever you want. I don't care,” Mark stammers as he pushes the door open.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whateverever? I really don't get these slang words but I try to learn.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No! Please don't!” Mark blurts out, embarrassed by his own flustered state once again. “I'll get going. Goodnight, Jinyoung.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Goodnight, Mark. See you tomorrow.” He sends him off with a fond smile and Mark has his difficulties to tear his eyes away. But with a few seconds delay he finally manages and grabs his flowers to stumble out into the rain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, Mr. celebrity chef, how was your day?” Jinyoung greets him when Mark opens the back door the following night. It's impossible to keep being in a foul mood when somebody beams at him like Jinyoung does now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Celebrity chef!” Mark snorts. “As if!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If not already, then soon. Your fame will seep through this city slowly but surely.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nah, I don't really care about fame. I just want people to like my food.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, humble king, my car is over there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's not even raining today.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know,” Jinyoung says and shrugs his shoulders. He stretches his hand out, waiting for Mark to take it. And there they are again, these hopeful eyes. Also this time he even bites down on his plump bottom lip a little. He's bringing in the big guns, Mark thinks. He looks down at his hand, then back up at his face, and then repeats the whole process before he finally takes Jinyoung's hand which was awkwardly hanging in mid-air for the past few seconds. His reward is another bright smile before Jinyoung turns around to guide him across the street.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark climbs into the passenger seat and waits for Jinyoung to walk round the car. He looks down at his hand which just moments ago was held by him. It feels warm. Jinyoung felt warm. Mark tries to keep himself in check. His behavior yesterday was embarrassing, he decided, and he swore to himself that he will stay cool from now on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The distinctive sound of a photo being taken suddenly gains Mark's attention. He tears his eyes away from his palm and spots Jinyoung who holds up a cellphone in front of his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you doing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Snapping pics of you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But why?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You seemed so tame and peaceful just now. You truly have something unique and impeccable to you. Usually you're like a raging torrent or relentless floods of fiery lava. The wild, the fierce beauty, it's fascinating. But it's also pretty fascinating to see you so calm. It feels like seeing a secret that nobody ever is supposed to discover.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're doing it again,” Mark mumbles as he feels his ears getting hot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Glorifying me. I'm nothing special.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're the embodiment of special.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're insane.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, let me state this more precisely. <em>For me</em> you're the embodiment of special.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh god, can you please just drivedrive?” Mark hides his face in his palms, unable to bear more of Jinyoung's admiring looks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're cute when you're so flustered. Makes me want to give you even more compliments.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Drive, I said!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung's snickering fills the air before the engine jumps to life. “Actually you said drivedrive.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shut up!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The peaceful calmness lasted only for a short while after all,” he laughs. “But don't worry, your secret will be safe with me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What secret are you talking about?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The one I'm going to find out. The one that only shines through when you're calm and deep in thoughts.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I really don't know what kind of pretentious shit you're talking,” Mark huffs. He doesn't like the idea that Jinyoung might see something that he isn't showing him voluntarily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's okay, it can wait until you're ready,” Jinyoung hums. “Hey, I'll be on a two-day business trip from tomorrow onwards.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark pricks up his ears and glances at Jinyoung. “Why are you telling me this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just so you know I can't come to pick you up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Will you miss me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Unlikely,” Mark says with as much casualness as his still burning ears allow him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmmm, I'm gonna pick you up again when I'm back,” the designer says as if Mark wasn't just terribly rude to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aren't you tired of the ongoing rejection?” he mumbles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What rejection?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This. All of this. The way I continue to reject everything you do or say.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah that!” he says, coming to an obvious realization before he flashes Mark a grin. “No, actually I just think it proves that you don't know me well enough, yet.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well enough for what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Actually liking me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is this what all of your efforts are supposed to result in? Me liking you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought the flowers and me asking you out on a date gave me away already.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh.... I mean yeah, sure,” Mark stammers and avoids Jinyoung's mischievous side glance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah! So cute! What am I going to do the next two days without you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark doesn't know an answer to that, but he thinks it's fortunate that he's forced to get some distance to Jinyoung for a while. Because things are getting out of hand. Jinyoung makes him feel funny and this needs to stop.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stupid day with stupid guests and stupid halibut!” Mark mutters as he aggressively cleans the kitchen after a long day of work. Usually time flies when he cooks but in very rare cases time drags on for an eternity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't slander the halibut. It wasn't its fault that you fucked it up,” Jaebeom reprimands him and rolls his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn't! It's just a stupid ass fish,” Mark grumbles a reply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, you kind of did, but it's okay. It can happen,” Jackson tries to comfort him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark, can you please just go home and try to do something about your terrible mood? This is getting exhausting.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think his mood will be a lot better tomorrow. His cute Mr. Pepi comes back today and the world becomes bright again.” Jackson's smug smile and wiggling eyebrows are difficult to look at without wanting to stuff a sponge down his throat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He has nothing to do with it. It was just a stupid day, okay?! Also he won't be back before tomorrow morning.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh no, that means we have to suffer through another episode of bitchy Mark tomorrow. Somebody help us!” Jaebeom pleads.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh what the heck, I'll just go home!” Mark drops the cleaning cloth and grabs his baseball jacket.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“At least one of my prayers has been answered,” Jaebeom jokes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shut up!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won't! Have a good night missing your fashion design- Jackson, your hand on my ass again? Really?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>On his way out, Mark can't help considering the substance of Jaebeom's words. The past two days really were especially dreadful and Mark has no idea why that was the case. But would Jinyoung's absence truly have a direct impact on Mark's mood? Why would that be? Nah, he rejects the thought immediately, it's probably just a coincidence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pushes open the back door, quietly cursing when he steps out into the cold drizzle. Hastily he pulls up the hood of his sweater, well aware that it won't help much. But this day is doomed already, so why not getting soaked to the skin on his way home?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good evening, my favorite chef. So good to see you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark stops dead in his tracks. He looks up and spots Jinyoung walking down the alley, smiling, and looking absolutely gorgeous and princelike while holding a large umbrella.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are back?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Obviously,” he laughs. “Come under the umbrella quickly.” And Mark complies in an instant. He runs over to Jinyoung and stops only when he's bumping into him. He stays close, much closer than the wide umbrella would require. And maybe he also snaked an arm around Jinyoung's waist, pulling him close while they're facing each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, you're actually happy to see me.” The astounded look on Jinyoung's face couldn't be more genuine. He's seriously surprised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought you wouldn't be back before tomorrow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That was the plan, but I got everything done quickly and took an earlier flight. And now I know that it was worth it.” With twinkling eyes and a fond smile he looks down at Mark. They never were this close before, Mark realizes. He also realizes that Jinyoung obviously has a direct impact on his mood because just like Jackson predicted, he feels like the world is a brighter place than it was five minutes ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An unexpected rumbling sound snaps Mark out of his thoughts. He quickly understands that Jinyoung's dissatisfied stomach made itself noticeable. The fashion designer looks thoroughly embarrassed now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry, I came directly from the airport.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can cook something for you!” Mark blurts out. Is he in his right mind?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“W-What, now? Really?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes! I make something quick and easy but I promise it will be tasty.” Okay, he's definitely not in the right mind but he also can't stop himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I would be very grateful to you.” Oh yes, Jinyoung has such a nice smile and it's absolutely a fact. Mark has to admit that he missed seeing it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung drives them to his apartment. Of course it's located in one of the chic parts of town and of course his apartment building has its own security guard and resident concierge. Everything is clean and sparkles and Mark feels a bit out of place when he follows Jinyoung into the elevator.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark suppresses an unnerved groan as he realizes that the elevator takes them to the highest floor of the building. Of course Jinyoung lives in a penthouse apartment which occupies the entire top floor of this luxury building, of course. He takes a careful look around. The whole apartment impresses with spaciousness. The furniture is so pristine and elegant, like he only saw it in movies before. The uncomplicated decorations have an unobtrusive charm. Instead eccentric lighting elements would catch everyone's eye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How do you like my place?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're rich. I knew that before. Want me to praise you for it now?” Mark snorts, just to hide how intimidated he is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No..... I actually <em>really</em> just wanted to know if you like it here.” Now Jinyoung looks sad, even slightly heartbroken. Mark immediately panics inwardly. He didn't plan to ruin his beautiful smile with a careless remark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I like it! I like it, okay? It's beautiful. Who wouldn't like such a classy place? I just... I mean I knew you were rich but I just didn't... kind of.... expected it to be so grand and... uuh.. I was surprised? Anyway, it's beautiful.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh... okay. Good to know,” he says and a smile blooms on his face all anew. “If you like it so much you should come over more often.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, was this just a ploy to emotionally blackmail me into coming back here?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't know what you mean,” he purrs with a look on his face which says he knows exactly what Mark means and also confirms its truthfulness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark rolls his eyes, already fed up with the sneaky fashion designer. “Kitchen, now!” He turns around and marches in a direction where he assumes the kitchen must be. And he's right. When he turns on the light it's like a heaven of shiny stainless steel stretches out in front of his eyes. His mouth falls open while he tries to examine every single kitchen device and every sleek surface.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You like that part as well?” the familiar smooth voice asks behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love it! I want to hug every single utensil in here. I would make love to this kitchen if I could.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can only offer you making love <em>in</em> here, but not <em>to</em> it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finally Mark tears his eyes away from the best kitchen he ever saw live to frown at the designer. “This is a holy moment and you have nothing better to do than tainting it? Shame on you!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I'm still very hungry so I really need you to stop staring and start doing something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I will!” Mark gets rid of his baseball jacket and examines the content of the huge fridge. Definitely he can put something great together with the ingredients he finds there, so he starts right away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you usually cook for yourself?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nah, I can't cook to save my life,” Jinyoung says after taking a sip of liquor which he poured from an expensive looking bottle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you have so many fresh ingredients here and almost no convenience foods.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have a cook coming over when I'm hungry and don't want to go out to eat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You pay someone who cooks for you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, people pay you also to cook for them, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think that's slightly different, but whatever. Guess you can pay a personal cook when you're rich.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly some beeping noises come from the hallway and seconds later a voice resounds through the apartment. “JINYOUNG? ARE YOU STILL AWAKE?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“YEAH! KITCHEN!” Jinyoung takes another sip from his glass before he mutters, “Also I would definitely be awake <em>now</em> after you yelled like this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A guy in a suit walks in, and not just any guy. Mark remembers him too well. It's Jinyoung's assistant from back then. When he spots Mark at the kitchen counter, his eyebrows go up in surprise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You have found him,” he says to Jinyoung.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I said I would, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You said this <em>for years</em>. Who would have thought that the day would actually come?” he mocks while Jinyoung looks at him sourly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nice to see you again, Youngjae,” Mark says and waves at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nice to see you as well, Mark. Who would have guessed we would meet again like this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Definitely not me,” Mark chuckles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, you talked enough with each other,” Jinyoung interrupts, looking slightly disgruntled. “What are you doing here, Youngjae?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, I-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Youngjae, you want to stay for dinner?” Mark offers. “An admittedly late dinner.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, he's busy!” Jinyoung answers for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well actually-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“HE'S <em>VERY</em> BUSY!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jinyoung!” Mark scolds. “Can you let Youngjae talk, please?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nooo! Don't be so nice to him,” the fashion designer whines.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why shouldn't I be nice to him?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because you're not even terribly nice to me yet, so stop being so lovable to random people.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Now here is the rich brat I was expecting to see the whole time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nooooooo!” Jinyoung whines some more and indeed seems like a brat, but a cute one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know,” Youngjae butts in, “I forgot to give you the order book back, so I brought it over. Knowing you, you probably want to look over it again before the meeting tomorrow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's true, thank you” Jinyoung says meekly. “Will you go now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But Mark invited me, so why would I leave?” The assistant smiles slyly at him. Mark can't suppress his giggles when he sees Jinyoung gasping for air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let's talk in private for a minute.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With these words Jinyoung nudges Youngjae out of the room. Due to the sound of the sizzling pan in front of him, Mark doesn't hear anything of the conversation until a loud “BYE MARK” comes from the adjacent room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“BYE YOUNGJAE, SEE YOU!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Jinyoung reenters the kitchen with newly gained composure, Mark beholds him curiously. “What were you saying to him?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That if he doesn't leave now, I'll fire him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jinyoung!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What? I like him but I'm still his boss, this is my apartment, and all of this here -,” he passionately explains while he waves his hands around, “- is the closest thing to a date with you I got so far. I don't need his assistance right now. But I also gave him 50 dollars, okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, then it's fine,” Mark huffs, the sarcasm in his statement as clear as daylight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He can buy himself a nice meal for 50 dollars and I can have my pretend date with you. Everyone is winning.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're still a rich brat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I said I <em>changed</em>, but not that I'm a complete new person.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whatever.” Mark simply rolls his eyes at this bratty side of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But Youngjae changed as well. He became cheekier over the years. I can't recall him being so bold back in the days.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark clearly remembers how terrified the assistant was of losing his job, so something between him and Jinyoung must have shifted over the years. “Maybe you became softer and that's the reason why he thinks he can tease you now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh, then I have to change back.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, you don't. I don't want that immature jerk from back then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You want the me who I am now?” Jinyoung asks with his typical eyes-full-of-hope look.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want you to shut up and eat your dinner because it's ready.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They sit down at the large dinning table. Mark just eats a bit. He ate earlier in the restaurant so he isn't that hungry. But Jinyoung gobbles down the meal without restraint, praising Mark's cooking skills between hasty bites. Okay, Mark thinks, this guy really was hungry. To think that he rushed from the airport to 'Naut-ics', just to be on time to pick him up, astounds him. In general a lot of things astound him, for example the way they sit together and eat in Jinyoung's apartment as if it's supposed to be this way. As if it's normal. It seems way too domestic considering the special history they share. If somebody would have told him this two weeks ago, he probably would have called security on this person. But now, here they are.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He is aware that he never got into these domestic activities with anybody. It never went this far. Most of the times he had mere flings, over as fast as they began. His dream of owning a restaurant always was his number one priority and everything else had to fit around it. Needless to say that most guys weren't that thrilled to be just a puzzle piece in his life. Though all the guys he met before never really made a great effort to try. Apart from Mark's looks they usually didn't take much interest in his life. The result is that he failed to experience the wonders of a healthy relationship so far. And if he's honest, he's not even sure if he's capable of having one now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark is once again torn from his thoughts by a familiar clicking sound. When he looks up he spots Jinyoung who stopped eating and rather examines him through his cellphone's camera. Mark grabs the nearest object, which happens to be a salt shaker, and chucks it at him. Now Mark learns that the other's reflexes are pretty good. The impromptu weapon just crashes to the floor after Jinyoung dodged it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stop it, loser! What's up with your weird obsession?” Mark grumbles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whoa, I can't believe you threw <em>my own</em> salt shaker at me. That temper!” Jinyoung marvels, rather amused than offended.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm sorry for the salt shaker but I obviously had to throw <em>something </em>to make you stop.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Obviously</em>!” Jinyoung repeats, laughing. “I just needed to capture the magic of the moment, even at risk of my 200 dollar titanium salt shaker becoming a victim.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course in this house even the damn salt shaker is expensive,” Mark mutters. “And I'm sure a plane could land on this thing and it still wouldn't break. Just so you know, if I would have murdered it, I'd have paid you back..... in 200 monthly installments.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How reassuring,” Jinyoung keeps chuckling. “I'm so glad I managed to take this pic. You looked so calm and naturally beautiful,” he raves as he beholds the result on his screen with dreamy eyes. “Your secret peeked out again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're so weird. It might really be an obsession,” Mark scoffs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That might be possible. I can't even deny it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Obsessions are unhealthy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And so are coffee, alcohol, smoking and all groceries and cosmetics which contain palm oil. And now look at humankind not caring a single second about it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark huffs a breath and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Not caring about it doesn't make it any less unhealthy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's also true, but is an obsession really something so bad?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark thinks for a while about the question. Is it bad per se? Not really, if nobody is getting hurt. But the endless compliments and constant worshiping annoy Mark for some reason, and after another minute he got to the bottom of it. “You know, it's like a little boy seeing a toy in the store. The boy would whine about wanting that toy to his parents night and day. He really, <em>really</em> wants that toy. He feels like nothing else would make him as happy as this particular toy could. And then one day, his parents finally would give in and buy it for their kid. The boy would be ecstatic in the beginning. He would play with it all day long.... for about a week, because then the boy realizes that it's just another toy and it gets boring. Just like that, the toy which was the most desired thing on earth before, is thrown aside, joining the other old playthings.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmmm, I think that shows how little you still know me. I didn't search for you for years to throw you aside any time soon, that means if I understood your metaphor correctly.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, it seems you did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung's usual lightness vanished and an insistent seriousness remains when he speaks. “Then I hope you understood that I'm not at all agreeing with it. I don't shower you with compliments just to win you over and throw you away the next day. I mean everything I say to you. I'm not a hunter-gatherer. People aren't just another scratch in my bedpost. <em>You</em> are special to me, Mark. Tonight we are both here because I have feelin-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I need fresh air!” Mark jumps to his feet and scuttles towards the wide balcony doors. This is going in a very dangerous direction. Mark is not even sure yet, if he likes the direction at all. He's not sure of anything while Jinyoung seems to be sure of everything. His heart is beating so fiercely in his chest, but it doesn't tell him which way to go. What a stupid thing. Why can't it just tell him what's right? At least the fresh air, which envelops him like a soothing blanket, helps him a little to calm down. He takes deep, slow breaths as he stares into the endless night sky.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It must have been several minutes until he hears Jinyoung behind him. The designer gave him some time alone. Mark mentally adds 'he's considerate' to the long list of Jinyoung's good qualities.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You okay?” From the corner of his eye Mark sees Jinyoung leaning on the parapet of the balcony beside him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah..... sorry, I didn't mean to be a weirdo.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was about to say the same.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh? Why?” Mark now turns his head to look at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I understand that I can be a little.... <em>overwhelming</em> at times. Unfortunately I never catch myself being like that in the middle of it. The thought always hits me only later that I might have expressed myself a bit too strongly. I didn't want to scare you away. I was just so in the moment and didn't realize what it might do to you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung's handsome face is illuminated by the light that streams out through the open balcony doors, so Mark sees the sincerity and concerns plastered across it. “It's not your fault. I actually think being able to express oneself well is of advantage. But I'm just too good at running away from.... certain things.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmmm, I see. Due to personal reasons I hope you'll soon get tired of running.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung's lighthearted way of phrasing conjures a smile on Mark's face. “I hope so as well.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Following this, can I perhaps finish my earlier statement, but this time I try not to use too threatening words?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark snorts a laugh. Jinyoung is just such a witty guy. “Okay, please go on. You try not to use scary words and I try not to run away.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung takes a deep breath before he lifts his head and looks into Mark's eyes. “I want you to take me serious, to really see me for who I am. And I want you to know that I searched for you all this time because I felt something back then in Paris. I wasn't able to recognize it properly at first. Only later I realized what it was. And every bit I learned about you on the way only strengthened my resolve. You're special to me, Mark. I mean it. And I never would throw you aside. I appreciate every part of you. And I know you think I'm an idiot with extremely low standards for it, but even the points which you consider to be your flaws, I have very strong feelings about.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark lets the words sink in for a moment. He first has to swallow the lump in his throat before he quietly asks, “Even the running?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The running is not so bad as long as I can catch up to you, right?” And he says it with the most charming smile and such sincere eyes that Mark simply has to believe him. And so obviously does his wildly beating heart, because now the command is very precise: forward, only forward!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So Mark takes this step forward. Jinyoung seems surprised at first, but that's okay, because Mark is surprised by himself as well. But it feels so right to kiss his lips, which always serve the most beautiful smiles. The softness against him feels good. Jinyoung being so close feels good. But Mark wants him even closer. One hand on Jinyoung's neck and the other gripping his shirt achieve the desired effect. The designer responds so smoothly to Mark's action as if they would have practiced before and this is just the final performance. Nothing about these things makes Mark feel like running. If anything, he wants to press himself even closer to Jinyoung.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's such a slow kiss, Mark takes his time to shower both, Jinyoung's upper lip and bottom lip, with plenty of attention. The other is soft and pliant under his lips. Mark never before enjoyed kissing so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He traces his tongue along Jinyoung's full bottom lip, slowly and sensually. It's enough to elicit a quiet sigh of contentment from Jinyoung and for him to open his mouth. Mark slides the tip of his tongue in, but only for a second, only until he feels Jinyoung's tongue responding. Then Mark moves his head back slightly, just to tease him. When he opens his eyes he sees Jinyoung's expression being torn between arousal and confusion. The latter now opens his eyes as well, and Mark is surprised how clouded with lust they already are. Both are still so close to each other that he feels Jinyoung's breath fanning across his own lips. To Mark's amazement, the other's body starts to tremble under his hands. In Jinyoung's face he clearly sees the desperation for more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark decides it's enough teasing and quickly connects their lips again, this time with more passion. Their tongues meet in Jinyoung's mouth, hungry for each other. Mark explores his mouth, tasting his sweetness. With his hand still fisted into Jinyoung's shirt he pulls him flush against him. He feels strong arms wrapping around him, holding him tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh yes, Jinyoung is into this with everything he has, Mark thinks. He responds to every single one of Mark's actions in the most wonderful way. Quickly Mark figures out what he likes. Lip biting seems to make Jinyoung hesitant, but oh lord, when it's about sucking, be it his lips or his tongue, he becomes ecstatic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But even the hottest kiss doesn't make up for oxygen, so Mark pulls away again to gasp for air. Though Jinyoung obviously has other plans. He attaches his searing hot lips to Mark's jaw and slides them along the edge of it, never ceasing to place open-mouthed kisses on his way. His lips run over his neck, leaving a prickling feeling where he sucks on the sensitive skin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark enjoys all the attention a lot. “Somebody is ambitious,” he chuckles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know,” Jinyoung breathes against his neck, his voice low and strained. “I'm also tired of running. Of running after you, not in the metaphorical sense but running after you when you speedwalk to the subway station.” That part makes Mark giggle. “I'm so glad we're over this. It seems like I can see a finish line for us,” Jinyoung murmurs before he sucks on Mark's Adam's apple.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A breathless moan rips from Mark's throat. This only seems to encourage Jinyoung. One of his hands slides down his lower back until it stops to knead his butt cheek. The other hand snakes to his front and dips beneath Mark's loose sweater. Jinyoung's palm lies against Mark's hard abs, burning into his skin. His mouth still does wonders to his neck and Mark enjoys it to the fullest. But Jinyoung's hands are getting bold. Mark is too overwhelmed right now to sort out how he feels about it. The hand on his stomach slowly creeps down south, already teasing the button of his jeans. Somehow this is not what he had in mind when he started kissing the designer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you doing, Jinyoung?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Only good things, I swear,” he mumbles against his neck. “Say stop and I stop.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, stop.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The designer seems to be paralyzed from shock. After a few moments of awkward motionlessness he jerks his head up to stare at him. “Mark!” Mark laughs about Jinyoung's expression, which is somewhere between outrage, disbelief and disappointment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What? You literally said I should say stop.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was giving you an <em>option. </em>Nobody ordered you to actually make use of it. But you really did.... I don't know what to say.” He looks as if he would be watching all his expensive, fancy coats being consumed by fire, and it doesn't help that Mark's amusement increases the more desperate Jinyoung's expression gets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey hey hey, don't look like that, so terribly dejected,” Mark says softly while he massages his shoulders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But that's how I feel. It was going so good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, the thing is, it was going a little too good. I would like to take things a bit slower.... if possible.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh.... so it's not a rejection?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, just slowing-down.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” Jinyoung whispers and relaxes against Mark's body. His head is buried in the crook of Mark's neck while his arms are wrapped around him again. “Seems like we're still running for a while.” A tiny chuckle hits the skin of Mark's neck. “But this is okay. I can run as long as you want me to, just please not to the subway station anymore.” He nuzzles into Mark like a cat or dog would do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you doing now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Inhaling you,” Jinyoung's muffled voice comes out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're such an obsessive weirdo,” Mark laughs and hugs him closer to his body. Jinyoung starts to plant small kisses all over his neck again, slowly working his way up to Mark's lips. The latter closes his eyes to focus on Jinyoung's sweet taste and the softness of him in general. Once again they end up being breathless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Damn, you're horny.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh yes, I am. Guilty as charged. How couldn't I when you're so close? It's an impossible challenge. It's like putting a plate of your finest dish in front of a starving guy and tell him not to eat it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Starving, huh? When was the last time you got some action?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now Jinyoung pulls away from the hug and takes a step back. With a hint of sulkiness he mumbles, “That's a very personal question.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were about to put your hand in my pants so I thought we would be on this personal level.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You have a point.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How long has it been since you last had sex, Jinyoung?” Mark repeats, slightly annoyed at this lousy attempt to evade the question.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Some time, okay?! Like... maybe one and a half years.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow! It's been a while.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm aware, thanks,” Jinyoung murmurs. “So when did you get laid the last time, huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uhm, I actually get laid kinda often.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course you do, looking like this... like a young god! <em>Of course</em>!” Jinyoung grumbles sulkily and lets his glaring eyes sweep over Mark's entire body. Weirdly enough, Mark thinks that this is pretty hot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Another interesting question is why you lived this sex-less life for so long.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sex is something very precious to me. I only do it with people who tick off a few boxes. The most important things are that I need to adore and trust them. I don't adore and trust a lot of people.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I get it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But it's obviously not the way <em>you</em> live your life.” A hint of reproach accompanies this statement and Mark doesn't like it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I just meant I understand your approach. And yes, I have sex often, and no, I won't feel guilty about having sex, no matter how hard you're judging me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's not.... oh damn.” Jinyoung drops his crossed arms and the softness returns to his features. “That's really not how I wanted to make you feel. Of course I don't judge you for enjoying sex. And at least you didn't do it with this Yugyeom guy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Which would have been okay, because it's my body and my decision.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, it would,” he sighs. “I'm sorry. Sometimes I'm a little possessive and I'm great at being an idiot about it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh really?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stop it with the sarcasm. I'm working on it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark offers him a soft smile. “Okay, please do that. I know there's hope since you already improved yourself a lot.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you for acknowledging it,” Jinyoung says and returns a tired smile. “Uhm, just to know where we stand, you won't walk out of here and have sex with some guy who isn't me, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, not really planning on it.” It amuses Mark a little how obvious the relief washes over the fashion designer, but it also warms his heart. “Oh wait.... just for your information, I do the fucking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ooooh you think it's important to inform me about this. Interesting.” A smug smile works its way to his lips, slowly but surely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, kinda. Just so you know, if you don't like it, better stop whatever it is you're trying to do here,” Mark mumbles sulkily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wooing you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, yes all of that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I like it very,<em> very </em>much. Thanks for the update, my obsession just grew a bit more.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh damn, what did I do?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm so happy. The fact alone that the possibility of us fucking exists in your mind brings so much joy into my life.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, weirdo. I'm going home now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, it's the middle of the night. I drive you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine, but you won't come upstairs with me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can I have a goodnight kiss.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Deal.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So happy!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark once again cooked for Jinyoung in his spacious apartment. By now he really enjoys it. He hates to admit it, but the designer's kitchen is more modern and has more helpful gadgets and features than even the one in 'Naut-ics'. Of course he doesn't come over just to enjoy the ample kitchen equipment. He also adores watching Jinyoung eat his meals. He's an expressive eater and it's fun to observe his little reactions to the different flavors. Also the designer never fails to praise Mark's cooking skills.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It became their little habit. When they are both not too tired after the efforts of the day, Jinyoung wouldn't drive Mark home but instead take him to his apartment where he would cook a tasty meal in the dead of night. Though Mark never stays. He always asks Jinyoung to take him home before the dawn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have a question,” Jinyoung announces when he sips his after-meal coffee. “You started modeling back then to earn money and fund the restaurant with it. But due to an unfortunate incident you had to stop very early.” Mark snorts a laugh when Jinyoung dares to phrase it like he had nothing to do with it. “So how did you actually earn the money to open 'Naut-ics'?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I saved the money from modeling, which, as you already hinted at, wasn't nearly enough. I did several other jobs after that, mostly as a chef in some mid-range restaurants. It was impossible to get into the good ones without proper references. I saved all the money I could, but in the end I still needed to get a huge loan from the bank to implement my restaurant idea. It was a risky leap, and it still is. I'm officially the most indebted person you will ever meet.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But... why did the bank lend you so much money without you being able to pledge proper assets as collateral? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you. But banks in general aren't famous for their generosity or love for risk taking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, that part... I'm honest with you. I begged. I pleaded my ass off in front of those suit guys. I think they really liked my concept, and my business plan was good. Also I think my assigned bank guy, who decided in the end, has a crush on me. But the main part was begging.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“W-What?” Jinyoung splutters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, it was really pathetic. I also cried a bit. I swear, they took pity on me. They really wanted me to leave. You know, they didn't want to see such misery in their premises anymore. So eventually they gave me the money.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, now this part you just made up,” Jinyoung snickers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay okay, I admit I amplified the story here a little,” Mark laughs. “There were no tears but I was pretty tenacious. Honestly, to somehow get the money for the restaurant, I would have done whatever. I would have sucked dicks or anything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?” Jinyoung blurts out, but his voice cracks and it rather comes out as a desperate squeak.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't look so... what might this be? Shocked? Worried? Yeah, don't look so worried. It wasn't necessary to suck dicks. Begging was enough.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Damn, one day you'll give me a heart attack. But at least it all went well after this. The restaurant is doing good from what I can see.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, at least as long as hipsters still make it a thing, I'm safe. But their horribly short attention span concerns me a little.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe I can help you out-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“With just a bit of mon-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just until everything is stable and-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No! Fucking no! I don't want your money!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's not a gift. You would pay me back, just with a lot less interest than you pay the bank. Like... no interest at all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I got this,” Mark insists.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark, please. I want you to be successful.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want the same, but I want to achieve it on my own, okay? Would you please respect that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, you're stubborn. But yes, of course I will respect that,” he sighs. “But for real, what will you do when the restaurant gets into a slump and you can't pay the installments?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't know, okay? I'll figure something out then. Maybe sucking some dicks.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Calm down, loser,” Mark laughs, spotting Jinyoung's sulky face. “You really don't like me talking about sucking dicks, huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not when it's not my dick.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what about sucking <em>my</em> dick?” Mark asks, a flirty tone lacing his words. He leans his elbows on the table to get closer to Jinyoung and bites down on his bottom lip while looking deep into his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Talking</em> about sucking your dick or <em>really</em> <em>sucking</em> your dick?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can choose.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The puzzlement is evident on his face for a few more seconds. It seems difficult for him to process the change of direction in the conversation. But the moment he managed to catch up is pretty obvious. “Bedroom! Now!” Jinyoung stands up so quickly that his chair topples over and crashes to the ground.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh the horny Jinyoung is back,” Mark snickers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He was never gone.” He grabs Mark's hand and starts to jog towards the bedroom while Mark stumbles after him, laughing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look who's running now!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is another kind of running. A good running. Running into the right direction.” He beckons Mark to lay down on his huge bed, which looks so inviting. He doesn't waste any time to crawl onto it and flop down on his back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Mark could properly reorient himself, Jinyoung is already on him. With rough motions he pushes up Mark's t-shirt and kisses his belly. “Damn, I dreamed about these abs since I saw your sedcard photos,” he pants.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah? But don't forget your prime aim here,” Mark says and flashes him a lopsided grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't worry, I won't.” Jinyoung roughly rubs his palm over Mark's clothed dick and it makes him moan sinfully already. “Don't you want a bit of foreplay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right now I don't think I need much,” Mark confesses. And it's true, Jinyoung's urgency already spilled over to him. Mark's skin is scalding hot even though barely anything happened yet. But the way Jinyoung's dark, piercing eyes are looking up at him, so full of longing, won't let him calm down. His jeans are getting tight already. He can't wait to feel Jinyoung around him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your wish is my command. Can I take your shirt off?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure.” Jinyoung scrambles up to him and with nimble fingers frees him from the fabric in seconds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The excited designer doesn't move back down though. He hovers over Mark, staring into his eyes. Waves of desire crash under his wanting gaze. Mark wonders what he's thinking about but he doesn't even have to ask to find out. “You're the most beautiful being in this entire world, and to me, you always will be, no matter how much time passes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead of replying, Mark pulls him down for a kiss. With one hand around his back and the other buried in Jinyoung's dark hair, Mark keeps him close while their tongues brush together. There is an urgency between them which Mark never felt before; a passion, which goes far beyond physical desire. He has no idea what exactly this is but he doesn't want this feeling to ever end.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The kiss is dangerous as it already is, but the way Jinyoung grinds down onto Mark's crotch is almost world-changing. A low moan slips into the kiss and he can feel Jinyoung smiling because of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He's rocking down on him with his magical hips in a steady rhythm. Their bulges are rubbing hard together. It feels so delightful that Mark's head starts to spin. They are not kissing anymore. Mark is just desperately clinging onto Jinyoung as he celebrates every moment of friction between them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh fuck, this is so good already,” he gasps into Jinyoung's ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's time to make it even better for you.” Jinyoung tries to sound smug, but he's too much into it himself to act suave now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark quickly nods and gives him therefore the permission to continue with their initial plan. As Jinyoung slides along his body, he doesn't miss the chance to touch his naked chest and stomach as much as possible. Unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down along with his underwear takes mere seconds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His dick is already rock-hard and leaking. The anticipation of what will happen next makes his blood boil in his veins. Jinyoung keeps marveling at his length while he licks along his swollen bottom lip. The yearning in his eyes is something Mark never saw before. Not a single guy ever looked at him like Jinyoung does.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Long fingers curl around his base before Jinyoung dips his head. And finally those plump, silky lips are on him. Jinyoung places soft kisses up and down his dick. He's so gentle that it feels like he barely brushes his skin. It feels really good but on the other hand Mark wants to scream because he needs more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He moves his hand down, back into the dark, smooth strands of Jinyoung's hair. “Jinyoung now!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And this breathless statement is all it needs for the other to take the next step. His tongue traces once more along his dick and then the insane heat of Jinyoung's mouth blesses Mark. “Oh fuck YES!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung takes him in almost completely. When his rough, hot tongue enwraps Mark's pulsing dick, he almost goes insane. This is sheer euphoria. “Jinyoung! Fuck yes! Yes! Yes! You feel so good. So good, babe!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Obviously encouraged by Mark's succession of moans, Jinyoung starts to bob his head up and down. Every time he comes back down, the wet circle of his lips tightens a tiny bit more, increasing the pressure. Mark's hips start to move. He fucks Jinyoung's pretty mouth and it wracks him completely. He throws his head back into the pillows. Never would he have expected such a mind-blowing performance. He assumed Jinyoung would be slightly inexperienced, but he was clearly mistaken.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He dares to look down, watching the whole spectacle. But when the other lets his tongue skillfully slide through his slit, his vision goes blurry. Mark feels like he barely has any control over himself anymore. And maybe it's okay to let go of it when it's Jinyoung he's handing it over to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Jinyoung goes down on him again, his tongue traces a prominent vein and it has Mark growling threateningly in pleasure. Surprised, Jinyoung pulls off him to say, “Don't do this or I will come on the spot.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>You </em>will come?” Mark hears his own wrecked voice. Astounding what happened to him in just a few minutes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh hell yes. So try not to be too fucking seductive. I want to come together with you.” Only now Mark realizes that one of Jinyoung's hands isn't on him anymore but rather is occupied with something else, inside Jinyoung's pants.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I try. Lord knows, I try. Keep sucking!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Jinyoung complies once again in the most wonderful way. His tongue presses, and licks and swivels and slides as if his life depends on it. Mark feels like sinking into a sea of lava. This can't be healthy, but it feels so intoxicating.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everything could be so perfect, if Jinyoung wouldn't pull off once again. “You can come in my mouth or on my insanely expensive Hermès shirt. I know it turns you on to ruin something expensive.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You're right, it does,” Mark pants. He grabs a fistful of Jinyoung's hair, pulling his head up to look into his eyes. “So I choose to ruin <em>you, </em>expensive babe.” It comes out as a deep growl. Now it's Jinyoung who can't stop moaning and whimpering. Even when he's back on Mark's dick, he continues with his muffled sounds of delight. He desperately works on the throbbing length, greedy to receive what Mark wants to give him. His own hand works at a fast pace in his pants.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To his great surprise, the other suddenly goes down on Mark completely. The moment his tip hits the back of Jinyoung's throat, it's over for him. The orgasm rips through his body like a thunderbolt when he comes hard in Jinyoung's mouth. A wave of bliss hits him, carrying him to the state of ecstasy. He faintly hears himself moan Jinyoung's name again and again, and only moments later the other joins him in paradise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung eventually collapses on Mark's bare stomach. His cheek feels even hotter than Mark's entire body. He didn't think that this would be possible. They both still gasp for air, but not too long after they climbed down from their highs, Mark feels soft lips against his belly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You look beautiful when you come.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You think I look beautiful just breathing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And it's true. But your face when you come.... and your voice as well... wow, what a lucky day.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh please!” Mark rolls his eyes. Of course he likes Jinyoung's compliments, but he would like it more if he wouldn't give them out so easily. He feels like he doesn't even have to do the bare minimum to receive praise and that's very new in his life and makes him feel wary. “Okay, I'll go home now. You don't seem to be in a condition of sanity right now, so I take the subway.” Mark smiles down at him and tousles his already messy hair some more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, you still want to go home?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, you think a blowjob would knock me out?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If it's a good one, yes, I think it would be possible.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, no.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But it was a good one. Don't be a liar at least.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, it was a really good one.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please stay the night,” Jinyoung murmurs before he once again kisses Mark's stomach.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Still no.” He looks down into his beautiful, expectant eyes. Mark sees that he's hurt, even though Jinyoung tries to not let it be obvious on his face, but his eyes betray him. He at least deserves an explanation, he decides. “It's just such a couple thing to spend the night together and.... I still want to go slow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You offered me to give you a blowjob.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, but staying over is so intimate.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“More intimate than a blowjob?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, maybe my priorities are weird but yes, for me it is.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung releases a long hum as he traces Mark's abs with his fingertip. “When it's you, I wonder about many things, Mark. So I'm always glad when you trust me enough to tell me something about yourself. Please keep doing it when you're ready and I promise to try my best to respect it all. I just.....”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm asking myself... when you got laid so many times in these past years, why are you so hesitant with me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's actually a good question,” Mark says quietly and goes back to play with Jinyoung's hair. “First and foremost, because it's fun to see you suffer.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh, I hate you!” Jinyoung glares up at him, little convincing, while he pinches Mark's hip.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark cheekily grins down at him. “But there's also another reason.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tell me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“....”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm thinking.” Mark is truly thinking, but furthermore he's inwardly freaking out. They now slide into an issue which he never shared his feelings about with anyone. And the shift in their conversation came too quickly. He couldn't prepare. He couldn't make sure if he's even ready to share those things about himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't you want to tell me?” Mark sees the hope in Jinyoung's eyes crumble and it hurts. He feels the sting even despite his low-key panic attack. He decides to pull himself together. By now Jinyoung earned himself some of his trust.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just had to sort my thoughts for a little bit. First I have to explain another thing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm ready for whatever you want me to know.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As I just said, my priorities might be upside down. I usually am a lot more casual with sexual things than I am with domestic things. Domestic stuff frightens me a little because it screams relationship.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And you're still running away from that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I try to stop but I need more time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So why do you think is that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh wow, you are not satisfied with just one answer, are you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want to understand you,” Jinyoung chuckles, cutely rubbing his cheek against Mark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine, fine!” Mark takes a deep breath before he continues. “The guys I've been with so far weren't that great. Relationships were solely based on physical attraction. So the sex was always good but as soon as it became slightly domestic, as soon as I needed them on an emotional level, they turned around and left without batting an eyelash. It felt like.... I wasn't worthy of their support, attention and time. Only my body was important but as soon as they had to invest themselves into a relationship, they dropped me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Give me their names. I reconsider the idea of contract killing,” Jinyoung grumbles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That elicits a chuckle from Mark. He teasingly pulls Jinyoung's hair. “Nah, they're obviously not worth the hassle.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm glad you know that yourself. I can't believe anyone treated you like this. They are all idiots. And- WAIT!” Jinyoung suddenly calls out, looking up with huge eyes. “<em>This</em> is your secret. <em>This</em> is what you tried to hide from me, from everyone!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Mark whispers. “I never had a real relationship and.... I'm very insecure about my worth as a person.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm so glad you told me. That means you know that I'm not like them. I will show you how much your worth as a person truly is. I will make you feel it endlessly.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That sounds very nice but kinda surreal.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don't have to believe me now. Time will tell you that I'm honest about it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” Mark agrees. A deep sigh of relief escapes his lips. “Wait, I didn't answer your initial question yet.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh... sure. Please continue.” Jinyoung snatches Mark's unoccupied hand and presses a soft kiss into his palm. This loving gesture would have freaked Mark out completely a few weeks ago, but now it makes him smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So the reason why you want to have sex with me as soon as possible, and I want to delay having sex with you, might be the same. Just our perspectives are very different, but the reason is the same,” Mark says quietly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung's eyebrows scrunch together as he starts to hesitantly speak his thoughts out loud. “I don't have sex with many people because it needs to be somebody special to me. You are very special to me, so naturally I want sex. And you say sex is a casual thing which you usually give away pretty quickly. So you say.... the reason why you want to put off having sex with me is..... because I'm special to you!” Jinyoung's face flares up with pure joy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I guess so,” Mark mumbles and pouts a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my god, I'm special. I'm somebody special in your life. Not just a quick fuck but somebody to tackle all this domestic stuff-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait! I-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“When the time for it has come, I mean. But you're actually considering it. With me. I really am the person who can make you stop running?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I'm actually quite optimistic about this,” Mark says with a sweet smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“YAY! BEST NEWS EVER!” he cheers like a kid before he places many more little kisses on Mark's tummy. “And I'm so relieved. I thought you'd think I'm unattractive and don't want to have sex with me because of it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?! No, you are <em>very</em> attractive. Especially your wonderful round ass. Just wait until my dick gets in there and wrecks it,” Mark jokes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“All these big promises, but did I had this dick near my ass yet? No! Tsk, I hate those dick-less times,” Jinyoung plays along. “I need proof that you can properly dick me down. Until that happens I just think you're a bigmouthed sex phony.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, you not! You think I'm awesome and fantastic, especially in bed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Was that an order?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What if it was?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cute,” Jinyoung chuckles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And now I go home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh, it was just so much fun.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, but-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know, you don't have to explain yourself again. It's okay. But please let me drive you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jinyoung.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please, Mark. Just let me take a quick shower, because my lower body is in a very sticky state thanks to you, and then I'll drive you home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine.” He just can't hide his smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The ride in the middle of the night is so comfortable. The atmosphere between them is pleasant and light. Contrary to his expectations, Mark doesn't regret opening up to Jinyoung. He feels liberated from a load he wasn't aware of carrying. And now that he shared it and Jinyoung seems to be so understanding about it, Mark feels positive and warm inside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So here we are.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, thank you for driving me, Jin-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung suddenly leaps out of his seat and ungracefully scrambles, under a torrent of little cries of pain, across the center console to plop down on Mark's lap.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, what are you-” Before he can finish his question Jinyoung already leans forward. Mark quickly ducks to the side and Jinyoung's face awkwardly bumps into the headrest. “What the heck are you doing? Do you have rabies, or something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wanted to romantically and passionately give you a goodnight kiss,” Jinyoung murmurs feebly against the headrest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You call this shit romantic?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung finally pulls his head back so Mark can look up into his contrite face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, it was supposed to be.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It sounded more like an attempt at self-harm with all those cries of pain,” Mark huffs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“In my head it was going a lot smoother. Why is reality so mean to me? The gear shift dug into my thigh. It will bruise,” he whines.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's your own fault. Why are you doing something so dumb?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I told you, it was supposed to be a romantic gesture. But you don't even reward me with a kiss. Instead you just nag at me.” Now he pouts at Mark. What does he have to put up with this late at night?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was dumb so yeah, it's kinda deserved. But if it will really bruise, I promise to kiss it better.” Mark flashes him a soft smile and gently strokes Jinyoung's thigh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me stay the night, please.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jinyoung!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can feel the bruise coming already. Aaahhh! Your lips on my thigh would comfort me a lot.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jin! Young!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay okay! Don't think I didn't listen to you. I did. I know this falls under the category of domestic couple life and you say you're not ready for it. But it's your home-turf advantage now. And my thigh really hurts. But my heart would hurt even more when I have to spend the rest of the night without your lovely company. And I promise I won't try anything naughty. I just want to be with you. Please?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How can he actually reject him when those round, shiny eyes look down at him with all the sadness mixed with hope swirling in them? Mark considers for a long while before he finally agrees. “Fine, but no further negotiations.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“YAY! YAY! YAY!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's long after midnight and Mark feels the tiredness gnawing at his bones and weariness seeping through his mind. So he guides Jinyoung straight to his bed. They quickly undress (not too much) and crawl under the covers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Side by side they lie in the darkness. The tiredness suddenly disappeared and instead a weird tension weighs heavy on Mark's chest. It's such an awkward feeling with another presence beside him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he needs to sleep, so he tries to loosen up his body for more comfort. In the process, his hand accidentally brushes against Jinyoung's under the blanket. His heartbeat quickens noticeably. Why has this little touch such a weird effect on him? A second later, strong warm fingers touch his arm, carefully searching. Then Jinyoung's palm slides under his until he's casually holding his hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is this... okay?” he hears Jinyoung's whisper in the darkness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Mark answers quietly. Because it really is okay. More than okay. His fast heartbeat dispelled the tension in his chest. He has to admit that it feels nice, but for now, only to himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bright sunlight teases Mark and rouses him from sleep the next morning. He rubs his eyes before he's turning his head to the side to check the time. It's still early. He definitely didn't sleep enough to function properly. Then he turns his head to the other side to spot the fascinated-looking, round eyes of Jinyoung Park. His plump lips are forming a pout, which makes the view even more enticing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good morning, Mark.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good morning, please don't tell me you already have finished sleeping.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How should I ever sleep again after hearing your sexy morning voice?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh please!” Mark groans and rubs his palms over his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“By the way, your place looks disgusting in broad daylight,” Jinyoung states casually as his gaze sweeps across the small apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah?” Mark grumbles drowsily. “How about going home then?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, just pack your stuff and we can leave.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Alone</em>, Jinyoung. I meant going home <em>alone</em>.” Mark rolls his eyes at him. How can he be like that so early in the morning already?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh? No, that doesn't make any sense. Maybe 'disgusting' was the wrong choice of words. Let's settle for 'unusual'. And perhaps a bit shabby.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry I'm not rich and can't afford a mansion.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There's a middleground between a mansion and... well... <em>this</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We discussed this just yesterday. Almost everything the restaurant yields, I need to pay off my loan. This is what I can afford with the rest. And I'm okay with it. If you're not, then, I repeat, go home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmm, as long as you're happy it's okay, I guess. But I want you to live comfortably and without cracks in your windows.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh-huh. I'm going back to sleep now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But before Mark can realize his plan, somebody rings the doorbell.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who on earth would visit you so early in the morning?” Jinyoung wonders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No idea, but I will find out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He rolls himself out of the bed. Mark is only wearing his black boxer briefs now so he quickly adds some sweatpants before walking towards the door, well aware that Jinyoung's eyes never left him during the entire process.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good morning, sleeping beauty!” Jaebeom laughs and steps closer as soon as Mark opened the door. He reaches out to pat Mark's messy hair. “Amazing, you look even cuter with a bed head.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jaebeom, why are you so much awake already... and why are you here <em>at all</em>?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I brought some breakfast. Lately you seem like you have a lot on your mind and I thought it would be nice to spend some quality time together. Perhaps I can help you relax a little.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Help him relax? How? What does that even mean?” Both their heads turn to look at the source of the distressed sounding voice. Jinyoung, wrapped in Mark's blanket, waddles towards them, looking not amused at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ooooh, maybe <em>this</em> is the reason why you have so much on your mind?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark only huffs at that. Jaebeom, the always fearless guy he is, just walks past Mark and faces his overnight guest. “Wow, Jinyoung Park in all his sleepy glory. I brought breakfast. It's enough for three,” he points out, brightly smiling. Then he walks past the half-naked, perplexed Jinyoung as if it would be his own apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait... who are you?” Jinyoung blurts out, almost panicking as he waddles after Jaebeom into the kitchen. Mark thinks he looks like an angry baby duckling, but a cute one. He listlessly closes his door and follows both guys into kitchen, well aware that he probably walks straight into chaos.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm Jaebeom. We already met. More than once. I'm the restaurant manager of 'Naut-ics'?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung takes a long, hard look at him. “No, this doesn't ring any bells.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course not,” he snorts as he starts to make coffee. Wordlessly, Mark joins him and grabs some plates out of the kitchen cabinet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what are you doing here?” Jinyoung is obviously not nearly satisfied with the answers he got so far. “What do you mean by helping Mark relax?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you think it means?” the other replies, challenging. He lifts an eyebrow and offers the designer a smug smile. To top off his deliberate provocation, he slowly lets his palm run down Mark's naked back. A moment later Mark feels a weight on his shoulders. Turns out Jinyoung hurried over to chase the sneaky stray hand away and wrap Mark into the blanket.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I quickly get dressed,” an almost naked Jinyoung now grumbles at Jaebeom. “No funny business while I'm gone!” He presses a soft kiss to Mark's cheek. Before he turns to collect his clothes, he properly glares at Jaebeom once more. The latter seems rather amused. Mark only shakes his head slightly at the both of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So what is this?” Jaebeom whispers when they are alone in the kitchen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Almost naked fashion designer in your apartment early in the morning, doesn't look like nothing to me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We became closer recently,” Mark mumbles truthfully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sleeping-with-each-other kind of close.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sleeping-in-the-same-bed kind of close.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Still very astounding,” Jaebeom points out and nods in acknowledgment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can you not stand so close to him?” Jinyoung demands when he hurries back into the room to squeeze himself into the space between them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jinyoung, please chill,” Mark tries to calm him down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I get it,” Jaebeom butts in, and he has this feline smile on his face which tells Mark that he's up to no good. “Mark is such a pretty boy. Everyone wants a piece of him. Even the guy from the bank keeps showing up at the restaurant to 'check up on him', despite the payments being always on time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jaebeom, please,” Mark groans tiredly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark, we need to get a restraining order against this bank guy!” Jinyoung immediately concludes. As expected, Jaebeom snickers his ass off and has the time of his life while Mark is supposed to deal with a concerned and jealous Jinyoung.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No. We need you to calm down and we need Jaebeom to shut up and we all need to eat breakfast now. Sit down, guys.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But this guy-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sit! Down!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” Jinyoung meekly agrees and takes a seat at Mark's small kitchen table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And so they eat breakfast. Mark hopes for a few minutes of peace, but Jinyoung keeps glaring at Jaebeom. Jaebeom keeps being amused. Mark keeps pondering how in the world he ended up in such a mess.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So you are a couple now?” Apparently peace never had a chance with Jaebeom being present.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” Mark denies in an instant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I gave him a blowjob last night. A really good one!” Jinyoung sulkily points out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark facepalms himself. “Jinyoung, he wasn't even asking about it!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's interesting though,” Jaebeom says with a nod of his head. “So what are your intentions towards Mark?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can you stop asking such parental questions?” Mark grumbles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not at all. So, Jinyoung Park?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want to make him happy. I just need to fully convince him that he can trust me. He's so stubborn,” Jinyoung explains, the sincerity obvious in his voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Now that's very cute,” Jaebeom laughs. “And yes, you're right, he's stubborn like one of these pretty swans who would bite your head off to defend their little swan babies.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Facts, Mark. Only facts. So just be aware, Jinyoung Park, don't ever make Mark regret putting his trust in you or I'll come at you, famous fashion designer or not.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won't ever!” Jinyoung affirms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, are you done now with your weird ass conversation?” Mark nags. “I want to eat and then kick you both out to take a nap.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Mark, good you're here. I have great news,” Jaebeom announces when Mark enters the still empty restaurant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah? What's up?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Some fashion assistant-geek just called and said he wants to book the entire restaurant for some grand fashion shoot or something. He said the place has a great ambiance or some shit. God Mark, he offered so much money, I swear we totally lucked out with this,” Jaebeom raves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you... are you for real? Are you kidding me?” Mark splutters, absolutely flabbergasted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes and no! I tell you, these hipster folks made this place famous and drew the attention of those celebs and fashion people to it. It was all worth it!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can't believe it.... wow... this is so damn great! This is almost too good to be true!” Mark rejoices. That is until a very frustrating thought flashes through his mind. “Wait... too good to be true?” he quietly repeats.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh? What's up? What is with y- Hey, where are you going?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm back in a bit. Sorry, I have to talk to someone,” Mark informs as he dashes out of the restaurant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Damn, how he hates this feeling. He was on cloud nine just moments ago but life had to drag him down again in a heartbeat. If his assumption is true, and he's almost sure it is, then this is Jinyoung's doing. Mark is so mad. Whatever it was what they had, it was going well the past few weeks. He thought Jinyoung truly understood him. He thought he would listen to him and trust him. But this shady move just proves that he was apparently very wrong about Jinyoung. And that's why it is so hard to trust people. They are just bound to disappoint you sooner or later.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Mark arrives at Jinyoung's studio, tears are pricking his eyes. Is it anger or disappointment what is causing them? He doesn't know. He doesn't care. He only wants to scream out all the frustration.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The receptionist already knows him so it isn't a problem to rush right into Jinyoung's private work room. The fashion designer flinches when Mark throws open the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark? What a great surprise. I'm so happy.... to see you? What's up? Are you okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You fucker! I don't want your fucking money. I don't want your pity. I don't want your charity. I told you, right?! You couldn't just leave me alone, let me do my thing without trying to secretly throw your money at me, huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh... what? I seriously have no idea what you're talking about.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh fuck it! I know what you're doing. Sending one of your little helpers ahead to tell Jaebeom he wants to book 'Naut-ics' for some shooting for a pile of money? How stupid do you think I am? This is fucking disgusting. I can't believe you tried to pull this trick on me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait wait wait wait! I didn't send anyone ahead to do anything. I swear.” Sincerity is plastered all over his face. Is he that good of an actor?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But... but Jaebeom said... he said....”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me talk to him, please. I want to clarify some things here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung holds his hand out to Mark, waiting for him to pass him his cellphone. Mark considers if he should give him this chance but then decides that he has nothing to lose. He fishes out the device but before he gives it away, he sees several missed calls from Jaebeom and two new mailbox messages.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uhm... wait a moment, please,” he mumbles before he lets the voice message play through the speaker.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Mark, I'm not sure what's up with you and where you went, but you seemed all over the place for no freaking reason? I just want to let you know that I just talked to Jackson and he said this fashion assistant dined here last week and Jackson apparently flirted a little with him. This guy told him that they look for a location for a shooting, and Jackson made 'Naut-ics' tempting for him. So it wasn't completely out of the blue. Apparently this shooting is for Valentino. Also Jackson deserves a raise, I think. I hope you're okay. Call me. Also Ben and Johnny are kind of freaking out in the kitchen and we really need you here. They even asked me for help. Can you believe it? As if I would know what to do in an actual kitchen. So please come back, Mark.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark is thunderstruck. He can't move and he can't talk and he especially can't lift his head to look into Jinyoung's eyes. So the second voice message, also from Jaebeom, starts to play automatically.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, I just had this really stupid thought that you might be at Jinyoung's and kind of accuse him to be behind this, since he's big in fashion and all. Well, I hope I'm wrong, but if I'm not, I really hope you listen to my first message before you arrive. Don't fuck this up for yourself, okay? Call me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark totally fucked this up. Nobody ever fucked something up like he just did. All these hurtful things he was spiting at Jinyoung while he did absolutely nothing wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Jinyoung? Oh, hi Mark.” It's Youngjae who appeared in the open door behind him. “Jinyoung, we're all set.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks Youngjae. I just need a couple more minutes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But everyone is waiting for you. We're ready to start.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have something important to do here first. I won't be long.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But the schedule-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is tight. Believe me, I know. I'll pay everyone overtime, if necessary. Sorry about that. Can you check if the caterer delivered the snacks already? Then everyone should grab a bite before we start.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh... okay. That's a plan, I guess.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And Youngjae? The new photo assistant is allergic to nuts. When I ordered I strictly told them to provide snacks free of nuts. But can you still check before giving them out to the crew?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah sure. I'm going then. Tell me if you need anything more... or any help.” The assistant turns to leave, but then comes back to quietly close the door behind himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is an awkward silence hanging in the air. Mark still didn't dare to look at Jinyoung.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How was your day so far?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now Mark's head jerks up to spot Jinyoung's smiling face. “How my day was? HOW MY DAY WAS? I just accused you of doing horrible things and you ask me how my day was?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But the situation is cleared up now so why drag it out for much longer?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because I'm a terrible person and you are not, and I am very, very sorry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are absolutely not a terrible person, Mark. You're just too used to be disappointed by people. We will work on that. Oh come on, there's no reason to cry,” he says in the softest voice and walks over to embrace Mark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Mark can't hold his tears back. Every other person would have kicked his ass after such an audacity, but Jinyoung just pats his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm so sorry,” he sobs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was a mistake. Mistakes happen. Remember that I also made a huge mistake four years ago? And you forgave me. You are a wonderful person, Mark. And even wonderful people can make mistakes, but that doesn't change anything.” He gently presses his lips to Mark's head, kissing the short hair behind his ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a while Mark can't say anything else. He lets Jinyoung baby him until his mind becomes quiet and his emotions calm down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You really learned from your mistakes,” Mark eventually whispers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmm?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You provide actual food for your staff now. And not just that, it shows how much you care about them by remembering such things as allergies.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won't lie, it's very still difficult for me to pay attention to anything else than my work when I'm so in the middle of things. But I'm working hard now to also take notice of the people I'm working with and of their needs. It's not easy for me, but I try. Call it character development maybe. I take criticism to heart, especially when it comes from you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's admirable.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nah, I just do what you told me to,” Jinyoung laughs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark wiggles out of his embrace and wipes the remaining wetness from his cheeks. “I'm sorry for this. And I would like to stay longer, but you have to work and apparently I do have as well.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I also would like to keep you here but we have to be adults. See you tonight?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark nods and opens the door. But before he's out he turns around once again and says, “You said one thing you like about me is my temper.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is this still valid?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” Jinyoung laughs. And it's this adorable laugh where he catches the tip of his tongue between his teeth. He's so cute. Mark finds him so, so cute.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good.” Mark walks over and takes one of Jinyoung's hands in the both of his before he leans in to kiss his cheek. Or to kiss his dimple, to be exact, because Jinyoung now flashes him his wide, close-lipped smile. “See you later, Jinyoung.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark turns around once again to leave but Jinyoung holds onto his hand. So when Mark realizes that he won't let go yet, he whirls around to look at him again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey... uhm, as you know fashion week is approaching and.... I wonder if you'd like to attend my show?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You invite me? As a guest?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, I would love to have you there. It would mean a lot to me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark slowly nods. “Sure, I'd love to be there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Great.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This one little word carries so much relief that Mark is slightly confused. Did Jinyoung actually think he would decline his invitation? On the other hand, just minutes ago Mark yelled terrible things at him. And suddenly he has this blinding realization: He wasn't good to Jinyoung so far. Often Mark was harsh on him and didn't treat him nearly as loving as Jinyoung deserves it. For too long he let his doubts lead the way. Doubts about Jinyoung's motives, if he is truly serious about him or if he would drop Mark just like so many others did when looks alone weren't enough anymore. But Jinyoung is still here, even after everything Mark put him through. He handled all of Mark's insecurities and shortcomings in such a great way, and what did he give Jinyoung in return? He barely showed him any understanding. So now he decides that it's finally his own turn to change, after Jinyoung was successful at that in the past. Jinyoung deserves the world and Mark is definitely ready to give it to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-MJ-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark is confused when the usher guides him to a front row seat, so close to the runway. But it doesn't seem to be a mistake. A sheet of paper, with his name printed on it, is placed on the chair. Mark wasn't even thinking about where Jinyoung would seat him at his fashion show, but he never would have expected to sit in the first row together with all the celebrities. Left and right from him are so many actresses and actors, famous fashion bloggers and basically all kind of stars. Anna Wintour is seated across from him and a bit farther down the row he recognizes Jinyoung's parents, who currently have a conversation with Vera Wang and Janelle Monáe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course he was aware that Jinyoung is famous and that also a lot of famous people would attend his show, but to suddenly be in the middle of all of it feels surreal. It's also pretty intimidating. Thank heavens, Jinyoung sent him a really nice suit the day before. Otherwise this would have turned into a complete catastrophe. For now he just sinks down into his seat and discretely observes what's going on around him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, Mark. I'm glad you're here so early.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Youngjae appeared in front of him, seemingly out of thin air, and he's not at all his relaxed self.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Youngjae. What's up? You look stressed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, we have a little <em>situation</em> backstage and I'm wondering if you could accompany me there now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, are you kicking me out?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, why would I kick you out? Also Jinyoung would kill me. Anyway, please Mark, we don't have much time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uhm... yeah, sure.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And so Mark follows the very stressed out Youngjae, passing by all the celebs. As soon as they left the front area, Youngjae finally starts to explain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So the situation is like this, the model who was supposed to wear the last outfit of the show just got a call from his family. There was an accident and he needed to go to the hospital straightaway. So now we need somebody to show the last outfit. It's also a pretty special outfit. Jinyoung searched very long for the right model, and with him gone he either wants to cancel it completely or ask you to wear it. I don't want to put pressure on you, but it would kill him to cancel it. It's supposed to be the grand finale after all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But I haven't set foot on a runway in four years!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't think Jinyoung cares about that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you see what kind of famous people are out there? Like super famousfamous!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark, I'm sorry but we don't have time. Will you do it or not? We have to start rearranging then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yes, panic floods through Mark's veins at the thought of going out there after such a long time and yes, he never planned to ever get back on a runway after opening 'Naut-ics', but he knows how incredibly hard Jinyoung worked for this collection and how meticulously he prepares things in general. This sudden change of plans probably rattled him pretty badly. So if Jinyoung thinks that Mark can pull it off and save this last, special outfit, then he definitely will try it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“MARK! MARK!” And there he comes running, looking like an absolute mess. Jinyoung grabs Mark's hands, bringing them together in his own. “Mark, thank heavens I see your face. I'm so sorry I have to ask this of you. You look absolutely dazzling, by the way. Listen, I know I invited you as a guest and it must be so awkward for you to consider going out there as a model now. I'm so, <em>so</em> sorry. I mean, if you don't want to do it, I underst-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey hey hey, calm down, okay?” Mark tries to push down his own nerves and doubts as good as he can. Jinyoung is a nervous wreck and he needs him now, so Mark will be strong for him. He gently kisses Jinyoung's fingers before he offers him, what he hopes is, a serene smile. “I will do it. No need to freak out. We got this, okay? Everything's going to be just fine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You'll do it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just like this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jinyoung, it's an honor. Just tell me what to do. I give my best to live up to your standards.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“To my standards? <em>You</em> are my standard, Mark. You're my inspiration, my muse. For everything I create for my collections, I always think about you and if you would look good in the pieces. And when I think they wouldn't suit you, I don't do them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What... for real?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung nods and offers him a shy, boyish smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, I know I interrupt something sweet and special here, but we really don't have time,” Youngjae butts in. “Follow me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He said 'follow me' but he's dragging Mark by his arm through the busy corridors so that he really doesn't have much of a choice. Jinyoung follows them voluntarily though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is BamBam, our head stylist. He will prepare you. I'll have other things to do so I'll leave you here. But you're in good hands.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With these words, Youngjae hurries away. Mark looks after him perplexedly before he greets the stylist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So you are the replacement? What replacement looks better than the original? Crazy!” the stylist cackles as he offers Mark to take a seat in the chair in front of him. Mark is glad that he seems to be a lot more relaxed than Youngjae and Jinyoung are right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is not just any replacement,” Jinyoung huffs. “<em>This</em> is the best model you'll ever see!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm not! I'm not! Please don't believe him. He's a little bit emotionally unstable right now,” Mark intervenes quickly. BamBam seems rather amused by the conversation while he starts to work on Mark's hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's not true!” Jinyoung disagrees. “The part about being emotionally unstable, yes maybe, but I remember seeing you walk this Burberry show four years ago and how you stole my breath away just by being so beautiful and wild and strong.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Four years is a lot of time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This comes naturally to you. I don't believe you lost anything of it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, some guy back then told me I'm not tall enough to be a model,” Mark teases to lighten up the mood.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm gonna be honest with you, this guy sounds like the perfect candidate for the douche award. Don't believe it. You're perfect,” Jinyoung plays along.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark snickers until the stylist starts to attack his face with makeup brushes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“BamBam, you see, the outfit requires dramatic makeup, but not too dramatic to take away Mark's natural beauty. He's so beautiful already. Just look at him,” Jinyoung raves. Mark is actually a little embarrassed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I see. I see.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I said <em>look</em>, not <em>stare</em> at him!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm sorry, but I need to look at him while doing his styling,” BamBam replies unfazed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Unfortunately,” Jinyoung huffs and keeps observing every single one of his moves with eagle eyes. “But don't touch him where you don't absolutely have to touch him!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aren't there 1.000 other things you have to take care of right now, 20 minutes before the show?” the stylist asks, sounding slightly annoyed by now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, but-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“YOUNGJAE? GET THIS NERVY GUY AWAY FROM ME! I NEED TO FOCUS!” BamBam then yells. And only moments later the assistant appears magically and drags the designer away, under protest of course.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sometimes he really is too much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know, but that's also adorable about him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh-huh, that only can say somebody who is head over heels in love with him,” BamBam snickers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's...ugh... it's a difficult-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah yeah, whatever. I don't want to hear your life story, especially not when I can see everything that matters in your eyes.” Mark then shuts up for a while. Nobody needs his flustered attempts of describing their current situation now. “Did you already see the outfit you'll be wearing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I don't have the slightest idea about it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Boy, you gonna look banging. I promise you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And BamBam ends up being right. Several assistants help Mark into a black ensemble, which reminds him of an overall, but a chic one. The pants are tight but not uncomfortable. Two silver decorative seams run down the outsides of his legs. A leather belt with a silver buckle sits on his hips. A broader studded belt is almost at the level of his waist. The sleeveless top hugs his chest nicely. It has a slight stand-up collar, which makes his long, unblemished neck look perfect. Several silver chains wind their way from his right shoulder down across his body until they meet the left side of the studded belt. Mark admits that his muscled arms are nicely accentuated but the highlight is probably his slim waist in this. That is until the assistants add another detail. A very prominent detail. Suddenly two big, long black wings adorn his back. He actually has to practice walking with them to not lose his balance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's quite difficult to move around like this in the dressing room, which is bustling with models and staff members. But still, Mark does his best to work on his walk. And then he passes a full length mirror. The first time he sees himself, with his styled hair, his dark painted eyes and his full outfit, he has to pause and take a minute, only staring at his reflection.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly something behind him catches his eye. In the mirror he sees Jinyoung, glued to the spot by the doorway. He stares at Mark's reflection through the entire room, as if the other 70 people wouldn't even be present.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark doesn't turn around. Instead he waits until Jinyoung slowly weaves his way through the crowd and ends up standing right next to him. In the mirror Mark watches Jinyoung how he examines him from head to toe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's like a dream came true,” Jinyoung states so quietly that Mark almost didn't hear him due to the background noise. “I can't even look away. This is perfect. <em>You</em> are perfect. You look like a fallen angel, hurt by the world but still so fierce and proud. Yes, that's it. It's exactly your essence.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a few moments he tries to process Jinyoung's big words until he truly internalized them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So you made this while thinking about me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What can I say? My thoughts about you are complex but always extravagant. Don't you like it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I absolutely love it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm so relieved.” Now Jinyoung turns to face Mark, who does the same. The wonderful smile, which features Jinyoung's eye crinkles so brilliantly, awaits him. That's one of the top three on Mark's favorite-smile-list. “You're so gorgeous. I want to touch you. I want to kiss you and embrace you and caress you so bad right now, but I know I can't touch art.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“At least not before the show,” Mark agrees, smiling. “Let's do a lot of touching tonight.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wha- Honestly?” Jinyoung's jaw drops. Mark doesn't even try to suppress his laughter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Honestly.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ALL MODELS TO THE STAGE ENTRANCE. YOU KNOW YOUR NUMBER. QUEUE UP ACCORDINGLY! THREE MINUTES LEFT!” the stage director yells from the doorway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have to go.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, good luck, my fallen angel.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good luck to you too, Jinyoung. See you in a bit.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And it seems like Jinyoung has lost an inner fight as he quickly grabs Mark's hand to press a kiss to the heel of it. Then he lets go of him and only his longing eyes follow Mark as he walks towards the other models.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As soon as Jinyoung is out of sight, Mark's nervousness skyrockets. The air is buzzing with energy and anticipation. He can sense the tension coming from the other guys. He tries to focus as much as possible while he still tries not to knock somebody down with his wings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The music starts, they can hear the muffled noise backstage. There are some slow dubstep sounds. Then the queue starts to move. The first models are out and Mark hopes that he won't sweat his entire makeup off while he waits at the end of the line for his turn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It nearly takes 10 minutes but then the guy in front of him walks out. Mark's special runway instructions were to wait until this guy is back in, and then walk out, slow but strong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark sees the model coming back and return backstage, but the stage director in front of him still holds up his arm. The light changes out there in the show room, the music does as well. Spherical, dark synthesizer sounds swell up. It reminds Mark of some apocalyptic scenario, but it seems to be the right choice when Jinyoung says he's a fallen angel.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The stage director drops his arm and whispers “Go!”, and it's on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He expected to feel uncomfortable on the runway, with so many cameras and even more pairs of curious eyes judging him. But he doesn't. He feels great. All the nervousness swept away when he entered the runway. He knows he looks impressive in Jinyoung's creation and that gives him a new level of confidence. Mark gets into his tunnel vision. He feels the music pulsing even in his nerve endings. Jinyoung's words play in his head: “ You look like a fallen angel, hurt by the world but still so fierce and proud.” And for this walk, Mark is exactly that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He gets the gist of people's reactions: a mix of admiration and fear. Mark is sure that's exactly what Jinyoung aimed for. The stage production is perfect. The outfit, the runway, the music, it all makes sense together. It all sets the right mood and Mark tries to radiate it as good as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This is what Jinyoung's art does to people, he realizes. It fascinates them. It captures their imagination and won't let them go, until he decides to let them go again. And this is not because of his parents' success or money. This is the result of Jinyoung's own hard work and talent. Mark is so proud to be part of this, part of Jinyoung's personal success.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That's it. His walk is finished. He slips into the backstage area through the stage exit. Only seconds later the blinding lights are switched on everywhere and people in the show room and backstage start to clap and cheer. The show is over. One stressed assistant shoos him back to the other side to the stage entrance. And there waits Jinyoung for him, with tears glistening in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were stunning! You drop-dead gorgeous, ethereal being! I knew it. I knew you were perfect for this. I got goosebumps, watching. It couldn't have been better,” he raves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you,” Mark says with a shy smile. “And congratulations on your very successful show.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank- oh we have to go!” So Jinyoung grabs Mark's hand and drags him with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Right, Mark almost forgot that. At the end of a show, all models walk out quickly once again and then the designer and the 'top model' go out to be celebrated by the audience. Of course in his short modeling career Mark never made it to be 'the' model of a show. So this is uncharted territory for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As soon as they appear on the runway the applause turns into a storm of enthusiasm. People even jump up from their seats and offer them standing ovations as Jinyoung and Mark walk down the runway, hand in hand. Mark never felt something like this before. So many people, most of them famous, are cheering for him. Well mostly for Jinyoung, but he is with him so he tries to absorb this special feeling, the sheer energy of the moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the best part about this is Jinyoung's face. All these throughout positive emotions which chase across his features are the real highlight. Mark tries to engrave this view deep into his memory, accompanied by the feeling of Jinyoung's warm hand which holds his so firmly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All the staff members and models start to clap again when they return backstage. Jinyoung cheekily bows in front of them and lets go of Mark's hand. So he starts to clap for Jinyoung as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, they clap also for you,” Jinyoung laughs upon seeing it. “Come on, take a bow as well.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can't. The wings are too heavy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh... sorry,” Jinyoung snickers, before he yells “GIVE IT UP FOR OUR FALLEN ANGEL MARK!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So Mark receives his personal applause and a loud “YOU DID IT, MAN!” from BamBam, who climbed on top of a makeup stand to be able to see them better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When everything calmed down a few minutes later, both of them retreat to a quiet corner with a bottle of champagne. They want to have some moments for themselves. Mark sits down on some boxes, relieved that he doesn't feel the wings weighing so heavily on his back this way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Before everyone goes home, they really have to get these wings off me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you look really sexy with them.” A smug, telling smile appears on Jinyoung's lips. No, it's not in Mark's top three smiles, but definitely cute enough for top five.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No way! Just because you suddenly decide to have a wings kink, I won't go through this world with huge ass heavy wings like a freaking weirdo. No!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, okay,” Jinyoung chuckles as he checks the countless messages on his cellphone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, now that we cleared up this misunderstanding after all these years, you could book Yugyeom again for one of your upcoming shows,” Mark suggests.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung looks up from his cellphone, seeming rather confused. “Who?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yugyeom Kim? My model friend from back then? Come on, Jinyoung.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aaah, yes, I remember. Is he straight?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't know. Why is this important?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I only book him if he's straight.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's sheer discrimination!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't care. I won't risk him falling in love with you after some grand reunion.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jinyoung!” Mark mildly scolds. “You're a possessive idiot again. I thought we wanted to work on this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can't we work on it just a little later?” he whines, and he's so adorable that Mark can't hide his giggle any longer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine, but I will remember it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm sure of it.” Jinyoung flashes him a cheeky grin before checking another message on his cellphone. “My mom just sent a message. Apparently out there, everyone was going crazy over the mysterious, model who wore the last outfit and looked like an untamed, majestic demigod.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh please, you're kidding me,” Mark snorts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, these are actually her words, not mine. Also she asks who that model was and says that she wants to feature him in her magazine. And my dad wants to know which agency the demigod is under. He wants to lure you away,” he laughs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh... wow?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, wow! You did that, Mark! You bewitched every single person out there.” Mark looks at Jinyoung and sees excitement and pride in its purest, unfiltered form. Never saw he anything this mesmerizing before. Never made anything his heart jump and his chest warm up like this. “So what do you say? Are you interested to make a big comeback on the runway?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, my only big comeback will be tomorrow at the stove.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought so,” Jinyoung laughs and takes another swig of champagne.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, but when you reply to your mom, tell her the mysterious, untamed demi-whatever.... is your boyfriend.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, okay- WAIT WHAT?” The bottle almost slips from his grip and he can only stop it at the last possible moment. “If you're joking then-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm not. I really want you to be my boyfriend.... if this is okay for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“YES! YES! Oh my god, first the successful show and now <em>this</em>? This feels like all the holidays of the year together. I... I can't believe it!” he cheers, giddy with excitement. “Why <em>now</em>, Mark?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know how important this show was for you. The fact that you trusted me with this big mission today and were actually more convinced than I was about my performance, means a lot to me. I don't know if anyone ever believed in me like this before. And even though I had huge doubts about being able to deliver what you expected of me, I realized I would do anything for you without batting an eyelash. So I guess I'm ready for a relationship.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung looks at him with the softest eyes in the world. He sets down the bottle and walks two quick steps over to him. The twinkling in his eyes grows brighter with every second. He leans down to cup Mark's face and softly kiss his lips. There are so many feelings spreading through Mark in this moment. But there is no awkwardness, no inner resistance and no flight instinct kicking in. From the bottom of his heart, Mark feels that this is 100% right.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And Jinyoung, I'm really tired of running now.” He lazily smiles up at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jinyoung gently runs his fingers through Mark's styled hair and returns a loving smile. “No need to run anymore. We reached the finish line.”</p>
<p> </p>
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